GROUNDING 🏈 Nick Bosa

#NINTEY FOUR.

The next Saturday.

I was juggling between my emotions and work. Nick had been on my mind all week. I was desperately trying to keep it all together for the team and my dad, but I was failing miserably. Any time I caught myself in the reflection of a mirror.. I could see the toll of what the breakup was doing to me.

I wasn't doing well.

After receiving the car and money from Joey and Nick, I tried texting him to show my gratitude, but he never texted me back. I figured it was because he was respecting my boundaries and as much as I didn't want to talk to him, I missed him. I missed hearing his voice and the way it sounded when it filled my ears.

I often wondered what he was doing. How many girls he was sleeping with and if he was still just as miserable as before.

After football practice, I told Mark I was going to stay a while and clean up my small office, but I was really just avoiding having a conversation with him that I did not want to have.

I know he noticed how sad I was, but I don't think he knew the full extent and if I were to talk about it out loud, I feared I'd completely fall apart.

Earlier in the morning, I found a little bottle of whiskey in Marks kitchen cabinet and I hid it in my purse. I wasn't worried about him finding it missing, because I planned on replacing it before he could notice that it was even gone.

I wait for it to get dark and then I walk out onto the football field. There was only one light still on, softly illuminating the green, crisp grass. I stare out at the field for a moment soaking in the sights of the white lines and numbers painted across the soft turf.

Football fields would forever remind me of Nick Bosa. A sinking feeling flooded my heart, I don't think I would ever break free from the thought of him. Even time itself couldn't possibly heal the pain I was experiencing.

I lay back in the middle of the field and take a large swig of the whiskey. It coats my throat and belly with a warm satisfying burn and made me softly cough. It tastes horrible, but I wasn't drinking it for the taste. I desperately, wanted to escape for awhile and go numb. I was tired of feeling everything, all the time.

I was four drinks deep when I herd footsteps coming towards me. I sit up lazily and see Dale approaching.

"Lili? What are you doing out here?" He asks, surprised.

"What are you doing out here?" I question him back and search over his appearance. He was in gym shorts and a cut off Central tee.

"I came to run some drills." He replies.

"By yourself?" I look up at him.

"Are you drinking?" He avoids.

"Yeah, I'm trying to mend a broken heart. You've ever had a broken heart? Probably, not." I say flatly, while laying back down onto the grass.

He sits down next to me "No." He laughs.

"Yeah, I thought so." I tell him as I stare up at the stars.

"—Well. At least not from a girl. My big brother died, he was in the military. That was my only experience of a broken heart." He finally, answers in a somber tone of voice.