To Be Loved... (BOOK 1)

Other Fish In The Sea

Jisung left the second Jeongin said he could stay with him. Once the front door closed, all you could hear was screaming and things being thrown. Felix was ready to go to his brother, but his parents went before he had the chance. He must've finally been comforted because the sound of loud cries rang throughout the house.

I held Felix close, trying to be there for him the best I could. He blames himself for this. I tried to explain that if that's the case, then I'm just as guilty. While he suggested a break to Minho, I told Jisung that what he's doing is mentally draining and that if he wants to be with Minho so bad, then he needs to figure out how to act like it. They both listened and agreed which is why we're where we are now. I think they both felt that way for a while, but just needed the extra shove.

Honestly, I don't know if they'll be okay and get back together. I just can't imagine Jisung having an epiphany any time soon. Especially not after our conversation. It's more complex than I realized on his end. It's more than just wanting to be out there like that. He doesn't know if he wants to be with Minho because of what he's provided rather than be with him for who he is and that eats him up. Growing up the way Jisung did is unimaginable for some so when a person who's gone through such trauma finally receives that love and affection, it can throw you off. Once Jisung figures that out is when we finally get somewhere. But for now, we have to listen to Minho's heartbreaking cries about how he feels like he can never do anything right and that no one will ever love him.

"I've never heard him cry like this before." Felix said. "Actually, I've never seen him cry at all."

"He cried a little when we picked up Jisung from his house that night." I sighed at the painful memory. "I don't think Ji and I are gonna be on good terms for a while after this."

"You really think so?"

"He knows how I feel. It doesn't make it much better for me when Wooyoung is a part of the problem. Jisung has never been a fan, I don't know if you picked up on that."

"What, why? How?"

"Because he's always felt second best. There were times where it even felt like 'if I can't have him, no one can' type situations."

"So then he's always been this way whether it's a boyfriend or not."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Does Wooyoung know this?"

"Of course not." I shook my head.

When we were younger, Jisung and I were the definition of frenemies. When we'd have our temporary falling outs, he would just lean towards Jeongin and I'd lean towards Wooyoung. We would always butt heads about stupid things, but he'd take it to the next level because he's stubborn and never wanted to admit when he was wrong.

The door opened and it was Minho. Felix and I quickly got up and moved away from each other to show our undivided attention. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked at us with a sad expression.

"Do you think I just did that in the spur of the moment without really thinking?" He asked.

"I think you've subconsciously wanted to do it for a while, but you knew what you'd be sacrificing so you ignored it." Felix said. "You're really smart, Min. You wouldn't just do something to do it."

"Yeah." He sighed. "So what do I do now?"

"Do your own thing, I guess." I shrugged. "But you can't text him. You need to give him time."

"I know. It's gonna be weird. Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Stop worrying about him." Felix said. "You're the one who has gotten fucked over time and time again and you just took it, okay? We all love Jisung, he's still our best friend, but you're my brother. You come first no matter what."