To Be Loved... (BOOK 1)

San

San's POV:

"San, are you sure he's here?" Changbin seemed doubtful.

"Of course he is." I nodded. "He said he'd be here."

I've been on the team since my freshman year. I wasn't considered to be essential until my junior year. I thought maybe once he noticed a difference in me, he'd actually care. I've asked my dad to come to every single game and he's always said no. Not even an 'I'll think about it' or a 'maybe'. It was always just 'no'.

"Tomorrow's my last game. I really want you to come." I mumbled.

"Speak up." His voice overpowered mine.

"It's my last game tomorrow. I get an award on the field for being the captain. You'd come with me."

"On the field?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll like the attention. You get to show off that your son isn't a total loss."

"Okay."

"Okay?" I couldn't believe it. I tried to stay calm and collected the best I could.

"I'll come. What time is it?"

"Seven."

"Okay, I'll be there at seven."

It's long past seven, that's for sure.

I just need him to think I'm actually good at something. Though I don't understand why I care so much given our toxic relationship. I hate him as a person, but I love him because he's my dad. It's like I've spent all my time trying to gain his approval, but it's always for nothing. I wish I could just stop mentally overworking myself with it and just accept the fact that it's a lost cause, but I just can't.

It was time. The seniors were lined up across the field facing the entire school. Every single parent came rushing towards their sons. But I was the only one standing alone. I couldn't tell if I was more embarrassed or upset. I scanned the bleachers and met eyes with Wooyoung. I shook my head faintly as he heavily sighed.

"We're here to honor the seniors of our team who have played so hard this season." My coach began to talk into the mic. "This first player that needs no introduction is our captain, Choi San." The people in attendance cheered in front of me, but all the praise in the world meant nothing. "A few words, captain?" He handed the mic to me before I could reject the offer.

"I..."

I froze up once I saw Ms. Jung rushing to my side on the field.

"You got this, sweetheart." She whispered in my ear as she held onto my arm. I bit my lip and nodded towards her.

"I've been a part of this team for four years. I went from being benched every game to barely having a second on the sidelines. Everyone on this team has worked so hard to get to where we are. We've gotten our asses handed to us a few times, but we never gave up. So thank you to the coaches and the players for always supporting me and allowing me to be your captain." I handed the microphone back to the coach as he gave me a thumbs up and continued on introducing the rest of the seniors. Even though I was still in my sweaty uniform, I turned to Ms. Jung and hugged her tightly. "Thank you." I whispered.

She squeezed me as tight as she could. "You know I'm always here for you." She pulled away and smiled, but quickly scoffed and wiped the subtle tears I didn't even notice I had. "Not on the football field, kid. Hold it in for ten more minutes." I laughed at her support and turned back towards everyone. Wooyoung was the one I found first. How could I miss him when he's got the brightest smile in the crowd?