To Be Loved... (BOOK 1)

At Fault

Wooyoung's POV:

Jisung
Can you come to Felix's right now??

Why is Jisung texting me? We never talk. Weird.

Wooyoung
Yeah sure

Is everything okay?

Jisung
We'll talk when you get here

Wooyoung
Okay leaving now

Did something happen to Felix? I hope he's okay. I wouldn't be surprised if he finally snapped. He's barely cried since the break up, but I knew it was bound to happen eventually.

I pulled up to Felix's house and walked right to his room.

"What the fuck is going on?" I panicked.

This was way worse than a small meltdown. Jisung was trying to hold him down on the bed, but he wouldn't stop struggling and crying.

"Help, please!" Jisung groaned, trying to contain Felix.

"Felix, what's going on? Jisung, why are you holding him down?"

"He won't let me go." Felix cried uncontrollably. "I need to go."

"Go where?" I wasn't sure whether to help Jisung or hold Felix in my arms in hopes that would work.

"The hospital." Jisung whispered.

"For who?"

"Hyunjin." Felix sobbed, still fighting to get out of Jisung's grip. At this point, he was sitting directly on top of him and holding his wrists down.

"Seonghwa told me to stay here and make sure he didn't leave."

"Seonghwa is at the hospital? Is Minho with him?"

"Yeah." He strained. I realized my help is definitely needed so I sat on Felix's legs with all my weight.

"I knew he was doing drugs." I shook my head. "How did he overdose?"

"It wasn't an overdose, Wooyoung." Jisung sighed. "Suicide attempt."

My world froze in that very moment. I couldn't even process what I was just told.

"But he used drugs though, right?"

He shook his head. "Jumped off the bridge at Han River."

This wasn't the first time I've dealt with death. My father and older brother prepared me for that. So I knew for Felix's sake, I needed to keep it together. I could tell Jisung was breaking inside too so I'll be strong for the both of them.

"Do they think he's gonna make it?"

"Minho doesn't." A tear dripped down his cheek as he whispered.

"Let me go!" Felix continued to scream and struggle, but he was growing weak. We were both hoping he was going to tire himself out soon. "Let me go." He started to finally simmer down. "Wooyoung." He cried. "This is all my fault." If it was his fault, it would equally be mine as well. I started to feel like I couldn't breathe.

"Jisung, he's okay." He nodded and got off of Felix. He laid still, unable to catch his breath. "Felix, it'll be okay." I had to wipe my eyes every second and kept my jaw tight to show no signs of weakness. "Hyunjin is a stubborn one sometimes, you know that. He'll make it." I tried to reassure him. He slowly turned on his stomach and just started to scream into the pillow.

If Minho doesn't think he'll make it, there isn't much to say. I just don't want Felix to feel hopeless the way I do right now.

"Have you heard from Minho?" I asked Jisung. Once I turned to him, I realized he had finally begun to cry. "Come here, you two." The three of us held each other tightly. This was absolutely horrifying.

"I need to see him, you guys." Felix whispered.

"I need to see him just as much as you do, Lixie. But Seonghwa and Minho think it's best for you to stay here. I know you don't think so, but you don't want to be there, I promise."

I wanted to be there more than anything. Although I believe Felix and I are the most important people, we'd probably be the most unstable. As much as it pains me, I know it's for the best.

"He can't die." The softer Felix cried, the more it hurt. "He can't leave me."

If Hyunjin doesn't make it, I'll never forgive myself. He would die thinking Felix and I hated him. Honestly, Felix might be right. This very well could be our faults. We took everything away from him based off speculation without any evidence. We were blinded by inconsolable lies we told ourselves because we didn't ask him what was going on from the very beginning. We let this happen.

I'm so sorry Hyunjin.