To Be Loved... (BOOK 1)

A Painful Reunion

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, feeling physically sick.

"Can we come in?" My mom asked as she stood next to my dad at the front door.

"No, you cannot." I shook my head. I closed the door and stood outside with them so I didn't disturb anyone. "What do you want?"

"We just wanted to say Merry Christmas, is that so bad?" My dad said.

"You could've just texted me."

"It's Christmas, we wanted to see our son."

"Seriously? You wanted to see me? After you destroyed all my stuff? You think I'd want to see you again?" All this time I thought I missed my parents, but being with them here and now made me realize that was no longer the case.

"Hyunjin, you needed to understand that your actions have consequences."

I smiled, astounded that they don't have any remorse. "I dyed my hair blonde and I got a boyfriend. So you thought it would be a good idea to fuck up everything I own and throw it on the front lawn. That was your logic."

"No, you blatantly disrespected me and your mother. But even still, clearly it taught you absolutely nothing." My dad pointed to my bright red hair. "You look like that cartoon dog you used to watch when you were a kid."

"Well I like it actually." I nodded. I looked over at my mom who was crying into her hand. "What's your problem now?" I scoffed.

"I just," she sniffled, "who are you and what have you done with my son?"

It didn't settle in my mind until that very moment. I've changed since I left. I'm not afraid to say how I'm feeling or stand up for myself. I don't think I'm a complete piece of shit for absolutely no reason. I know people love me. I never thought any of that was possible as long as I lived with my parents.

"What have I done?" I shouted. "What have you done?" I pointed at her. "I don't know why you even bothered coming here. Actually, how did you even know where I was?"

"You don't have friends except for Wooyoung. We knew you'd be here." My dad said.

"You're wrong actually. I have a lot of friends. Believe it or not, people like having me around unlike you."

"Hyunjin, we came here because we want you to come home."

"No." I shook my head. "This is where I live now, this is where I'm staying." I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I see that now.

"They are not your family, we are your family."

"You're not my fucking family!" I felt a staggering rage burning within me. It almost felt like I physically couldn't handle the anger coursing through my veins. "They've done more for me than either of you ever have!"

The door opened and I was shocked to see Ms. Jung.

"You both need to leave now." She was furious. "Hyunjin stays here." She stood in front of me. "How dare you come onto my property and interrupt our day. Hyunjin is a part of this family, he is more my son than he was ever yours to begin with. I've bit my tongue around you both for years, but I'd like you to know I think you're sick and twisted people. So Merry Christmas, you can kiss my fucking ass!" She grabbed my arm and dragged me inside, slamming the door. "Oh, honey." She sighed, rubbing my arms to warm me up from the cold, but the temperature outside wasn't why I was shaking. I felt like I couldn't breathe. She took me to the kitchen and sat me down. "Breathe, Hyunjin." She gave me a glass of water, but I was nearly paralyzed.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered.

"No, sweetheart, there's no reason for you to be sorry."

"But I ruined Christmas." I clenched my jaw as tight as possible, desperate for my welling tears to stay in place.

"You didn't ruin Christmas." She shook her head and held both my hands. "I promise."

"Did everyone hear us?" I was really hoping Wooyoung and San didn't have a clue about what just happened. I watched San give him his present, he's on cloud nine. I can't keep having him clean up my emotional messes every single time. Not today when he's so happy.

"I don't think so. I just looked out the window to see why you still weren't inside. I didn't hear anything before that."

I was relieved. "Thank god. I started screaming." I shook my head, wiping my tears. "I don't do that. I hated that."

"But you probably needed it. Even if they're your parents."

"They're not." I shook my head. "You are." I rested my head on her shoulder as she sat in front of me. She rubbed my back, trying to comfort me the best she could. "You've been so good to me since I was a kid. You've always taken care of me. I wish you were my mom."

She gently lifted me up off her shoulder and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"I look at you as my son, Hyunjin. I love you like you're one of my own. This family has had a hole in it for quite some time, but you filled it the second you moved in this house."

"I love you too." I sniffled, rubbing my eyes. I had finally calmed down, feeling more at ease from moments ago.

We both stood up and went back to the living room and acted as if nothing happened. Kyungmin was trying to wrestle San as Wooyoung laughed hysterically. All the presents had been opened. Everything was okay.

"Hyunjin, you okay?" Wooyoung smiled. I just nodded, softly smiling back. I'll tell him in a few days or something. He's been looking forward to today for so long. Same goes for Felix. Speaking of...

My Angel
Jinnieeee are you coming over tonight? I wanna give you your presenttttt

And I miss you so so much

Reading his texts made me smile. I finally finished the painting for him a couple days ago so I think I was equally as excited.

Hyunjin
I'll come over around 7

Is that okay?

My Angel
Of course baby

I'll see you then

I love youuuuu

Hyunjin
I love you too angel

So much

I need this day to turn around somehow and hopefully this'll be it. I really, really hope.