To Be Loved... (BOOK 1)

Disobedience

"Hwang Hyunjin, where were you!" My mom shouted.

"I was out with my friend, Hongjoong." I lied.

My dad walked closer to me and got in my face. My nerves were in overdrive.

"Who were you with?" He paused dramatically after each word. He could tell I was lying. I was terrified of their potential reaction to the truth.

"San, I was with San." That wasn't a complete lie.

"Stop lying to me!" My dad yelled and poked his finger hard into my chest. I stumbled back a little and tripped because of my stool.

"Were you with Felix? Wooyoung?" My mother shouted, looking down at me on the ground. I really was a weakling.

"No." I shook my head, knowing I didn't sound convincing whatsoever.

"We've been so good to you since we've let you come back here and you're already disobeying our rules? Have you learned nothing?"

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again." I tried to stand, but my dad pushed me right back down on the ground.

"What will it take?" He shouted. "What will it take to get it through your weak, godforsaken mind?"

Both of my parents were towering over me. I felt so small and pathetic. I never should've left the house.

"I'm giving you one more chance, who were you with?" My mother asked, crossing her arms with an angered expression.

"I was at Wooyoung's house." I whispered.

"Speak up!" My dad gripped onto my hair and lifted my head up to look him in the eye.

"Dad, you're hurting me." I was trying not to cry, but the pain was almost unbearable.

"Tell me!" He screamed again.

"Wooyoung's house!" I said as loud as I could.

"Was Felix there?" I shook my head with great effort. "You're lying." He gripped onto my hair even tighter, pulling my head up along with it. "We told you to stay away from them. They've done nothing but pollute your brain from the moment you met them. They're sick and they've infected you too."

"I'm sorry." My eyes began to water, but I used every ounce of energy to hold the tears in. "I'll never see them again."

"I don't believe you."

"Please, I'm telling the truth!"

"You can't even control yourself." He shook his head, beyond disappointed in me.

"Yes, I can!"

"No, you can't. And do you know why? Because you're weak." He let go of my hair by yanking my head down, almost hitting the ground.

"I'm not weak." I wiped my eyes, not wanting him to see me cry.

"Weak people don't try and kill themselves." My mom and dad left the room and slammed my door shut. I had no energy to pick myself back up so I just laid on the floor and continued to cry.

I can't believe I've already disappointed them. They put so much trust in me and I've completely broken that. What is wrong with me? Why can't I just listen and be a good son?

I needed to talk to someone. Wooyoung isn't getting a call from me and I don't want to stress Felix out already when we haven't even been back together for a day.

I know who.

"Hello?" He answered.

"Hongjoong, hey." I sniffled, trying to calm myself down. "Are you busy right now?"

"Hyunjin, are you crying, what's going on?" He panicked.

"Yeah, I just made my parents upset, but it was totally my fault. It's no big deal." I sighed.

"What happened?"

"I was with Felix and Wooyoung."

"Oh." He knew that would be a problem for my parents. "How'd they find out?"

"I snuck out with Wooyoung and fell asleep at his house so I was out later than I should've been."

"Was everything okay with him at least?"

"No." I scoffed. "He just started bashing on my parents."

"He just misses you, that's all."

"Well he can still miss me and not disrespect my family." Hongjoong sighed. "Please don't tell me you agree with him." I felt like everyone was against me again all of a sudden.

"No, it's not that. I know you've said they're different, but I just hope they don't fall back into their old ways." That was understandable. It's an answer I'm willing to accept.

"They won't." I got what I deserved, I don't think it was irrational. I disobeyed them and there's consequences.

"If you say so, then I believe you. You know them best. Did anything else happen?"

I thought it would be okay to change the subject. "Felix and I are back together." I whispered.

"What?" I heard Seonghwa shout in the background. "Give me this." He mumbled. I heard the struggle of him trying to steal Hongjoong's phone. "Hyunjin, that's great!" He exclaimed. "I'm so happy for you!"

"I was happy for you first!" Hongjoong shouted, seeming far away from the phone. I smiled at their competition of support.

"Are you gonna tell your parents?"

I sighed, feeling somewhat sad. "I can't. They hate him."

"But I thought they've changed?"

"They have. But they're really protective. They know what happened between me and Felix and me and Wooyoung so they don't want me near them. They practically forbade me so I'm not really sure how I'm going to pull this off, but I'd do anything to be with Felix, you guys know that."

"I'll take that!" I could hear Hongjoong struggling, but he finally got his phone back. "You have our full support. If you ever need to hide at my house to hang out, the door is open."

"Thank you." I smiled. Having to sneak around just to be with my boyfriend will be challenging, but it's worth it. I'd do anything to be with Felix and if this is what it takes, then so be it. "I'll let you guys go though, goodnight."

"Goodnight, Hyunjin!" They both said.

I left my room, needing to go to the bathroom and shower. I was all sweaty from anxiety and getting tossed around by my dad. My parents were both in the living room watching TV together, meaning their bedroom was safe to go in. I was debating whether or not I should do what Wooyoung said, but I just can't.

My paintings are on the wall. I know they are. She took them and told me how beautiful they were. She loved them. She's not lying.