To Be Loved... (BOOK 1)

Back To Square One

I was going to Hongjoong's house. I know he wouldn't be involved in this. He'll understand exactly what this feels like.

"Hyun, why didn't you just tell him who you were with? 'What the fuck is your problem' is genuinely the worst possible thing you could say."

"I know." I whined. "It was mainly because of Jiung. I know he knows him because Huening Kai had a bad trip one time."

Hongjoong and I sat on his roof and looked up at the sky. There wasn't a single star. It was just pitch black.

"I'll be honest, you haven't spent time with Felix the way you used to. That's also why he thought you were cheating."

"He never said anything, I didn't know it bothered him that much."

"But how did it not bother you? All you do is talk about him."

"I know." I dropped my head in my hands. "I tried to make tonight so perfect. I just wanted him to know how much I love him. But there was no convincing him. I could've been on my hands and knees and he still wouldn't of believed me."

I checked my phone to see if there were any messages. Nothing. I know I shouldn't text him, but I had to.

Hyunjin
Felix I love you so much. You have to believe me. I would never cheat on you. I'm so sorry I've been distant. I know I've been hanging out with a bad crowd. I'll never keep things from you ever again. Just please call me or let me see you

My stomach dropped once I saw the text message didn't go through. I rushed to every social media account I have. He blocked me on everything.

"Hongjoong, can you check Felix's Instagram real quick?" I whispered. "Does he still have any pictures of us?"

He sighed. "No."

"I'm gonna be sick." I thought I was going to pass out again. "He blocked me on everything."

I went to all of my friend's accounts and saw some of them blocked me too. Yeosang, Mingi, Seonghwa, San. Even Wooyoung. Minho and Jisung didn't for whatever reason which only tells me they don't know. That's most likely on purpose to save my ass.

"Shit, dude."

"Fucking Wooyoung did too."

"Well you know you have a place here so I don't want you to worry about being homeless."

"No." I shook my head. "I'm going home."

"Hyunjin, come on." I stood up and went back into his room. "That's literally crazy. Why would you do that?"

"If they want me home, I'll go home."

With that, I left to go back to where I lived for all those years.

I knocked on the front door and it swung open to reveal my mom.

"Hyunjin?"

"I'm staying here."

"What?"

I stepped inside the house and went right to the living room. Kkami immediately started barking and jumped on my leg. I was happy to see him.

"Hyunjin, what are you doing here?" My dad asked.

"I'll do whatever you say. I want to live here again. Felix and I broke up and Wooyoung doesn't want anything to do with me. I'll fucking date a girl if that's what it takes."

He just shrugged and went back to reading something on his phone. "Fine by me."

"I'll be back in an hour." I went right to my room and was pretty surprised to see all my stuff in tact that wasn't thrown on the lawn. I still have a bed and a dresser, that's all I need.

I was back in the room I stayed in at Wooyoung's and silently packed all my things. I know he said two days, but I won't be here when he wakes up. I'm sure that'll make him happy. I'm doing this for him, not for me. I'll do what it takes. I skipped the goodbyes to Wooyoung and Ms. Jung before I packed my last bag in the car.

"Hyunjinnie?" Kyungmin called, coming out of his room. "You woke me up." He rubbed his eyes. "Where are you going?" My heart shattered. He has no idea what's going on nor will he ever know.

I placed the bag down and kneeled in front of him. "I'm going away for a little bit. But I'll see you soon, okay?" He nodded and hugged me around my neck. "Love you."

"Love you too." He yawned.

"Try and get some sleep, alright?" He nodded again. I picked up the bag and went on my way.

I never thought this day would come.