To Be Loved... (BOOK 1)

One Step At A Time

Felix's POV:

"I love you." Hyunjin whispered, kissing down my neck softly. "See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah." My breathing was slightly heavy as I kept my eyes closed. "I love you too, Hyunjin." He reached up to my jawline so I leaned my head to the side, giving him more access. The pleasure slightly lingered even after he pulled away. "Goodnight, baby."

"Goodnight, my angel."

It took me another ten minutes to get out of the car, but I wish he could've stayed. I walked into the house and went straight to Minho's room.

"Why are you smiling like that?" I asked, finding his expression to be contagious.

"No reason." He was frantically texting someone, I could tell. I plopped myself onto his bed and attempted to take a peek, but he tried to block my view.

"It's literally Jisung, you don't have to hide it." Ever since Minho saw him a couple weeks ago, he's been back on the Han train full speed. They've hung out maybe five or six times since then. This is strictly speculation judging by specific days where he'd come home and act exactly like this. "What'd you guys do?"

"We went Christmas shopping at the mall."

"Cute, cute." When it comes to Jisung, Hyunjin and I have our priorities set in different places for good reasons. He cares more about Wooyoung, but I care more about Minho.

He loves Jisung, he never stopped either. I just hope this isn't torture for him. I don't know where Jisung's feelings are at. I'd ask Jeongin, but every time I ask the kid something, it somehow spreads like wildfire.

"How was your date?" He sighed and looked at the ceiling. "What? Not good?"

"Of course it was good, it's always good. But I'm just thinking."

"About?" He turned his body to give me his full attention and set his phone down. It was a conversation I haven't even had with Hyunjin yet, but I knew I wasn't ready until now.

"What does sex do for you?" Minho didn't seem too surprised by my question. He must've been waiting for this.

"In a physical sense or in a relationship?"

"In a relationship. Does it really make things that much better?"

"Well, it really depends on the person and the relationship. It can be a very intimate, loving thing, but it could also be very...rough and intense. Do you think it'll benefit you and Hyunjin?"

"Maybe. How do I even go about it?"

"Hyunjin always listens to whatever you have to say. Just tell him you want to start that side of your relationship and see what he says." I took a pillow and shoved my face in it, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"It's scary." My voice was muffled as I spoke. "What if he doesn't want to?"

"The hickey on your neck says otherwise."

"The what?" I screamed and ran to the bathroom.  I spotted the faintest bruising that must've been from earlier. I went back to Minho's room completely astonished. "I cannot believe he did that."

"Sometimes you don't even notice, he probably didn't realize."

I laid back down on the bed, then was joined by Soonie and Dori. I smiled, petting them both.

"How was it so easy for you and Seonghwa?"

"What do you mean?"

"You and Jisung broke up the same day you were at his house, that doesn't seem crazy to you?" I've always wanted to know the answer, but never felt it was too appropriate to ask.

"Without sugar coating it, you'll have to experience it to understand." I guess that makes sense.

"Do you think you'll get back together?"

He exhaled heavily, thinking of what to say. "I really hope so." He whispered, not sounding too confident.

"You know, me, Hyunjin, and Wooyoung all thought you were gonna end up with Seonghwa."

He shook his head. "Seonghwa is a good friend and I owe him big time. But he can't replace Jisung even if either of us tried."

"What is it about Jisung that does it for you anyway?"

He smiled fondly. "He's reckless and he's stubborn. But he's cute and he makes me laugh." It was a simple answer, but I knew that was enough for him. "He's just a little broken, that's all. He's on his way though, I can tell he's trying. That just makes me love him even more." He sounded sad once he finally admitted to still loving Jisung.

There were buzzes coming from his phone. It was actually Jisung calling.

"Night, Lee Know."

"Goodnight." He smiled before answering.

I went to my room and decided to FaceTime someone who I thought could help my situation here. Within a few rings, he answered.

"Help." Was the first thing I said.

"Text your boyfriend, he's freaking the fuck out." Wooyoung laughed. Although he's Hyunjin's best friend, he's kept things between us when I need him to. This will be one of those times.

"Shit. I was with Minho."

Felix
Hi baby I'm sorry I didn't text you sooner, I was talking to Minho

My Love
I figured

You okay?

Felix
Of course

He was just telling me about his day with Jisung

"Okay, I should be good now." I said. "But I need your thoughts on something." He nodded until his expression changed entirely.

"Did Hyunjin give you a hickey?" He gasped.

"By accident, yeah. That's also kinda what this is about."

"You wanna start having-"

"Yes." I cut him off, feeling awkward just thinking about it.

"I can tell you're overthinking it. Just make the move."

"Isn't that too bold?"

"What San and I did was bold. You two are in a loving relationship, it's a part of it." I find it funny how different his advice was from Minho's. I think they both know what they're talking about, but Wooyoung is actually in a relationship. "Do it when the time is right, don't force yourself into something you're not ready for."

"Were you ready for it?"

"It was Choi San, my life depended on being ready."

"Were you scared though?"

"Petrified."

I'd say I'm ready.