To Be Loved... (BOOK 1)

Photograph

Felix's POV:

"I need you to do me a favor." I felt completely numb. The one person I said I wouldn't turn to was now in my room as I was asking them to do something very important.

"What's up?" Minho asked.

"Do you know Choi Jiung?"

"Nope."

"He's a freshman. He's Keeho's best friend."

"Oh, that kid. The drug dealer?"

"Yup." I nodded emotionlessly. "I need you to tell him something."

"Yongbokie, I am not getting you drugs."

"No." I shook my head. "I need you to tell him to get the fuck away from Hyunjin."

Minho's concern began to rise. "Is Hyunjin doing drugs?"

"I'm not sure, but I think he might be."

Instead of being mad, Minho seemed more worried.

"Okay." He nodded. "I'll tell him. When?"

"As soon as possible."

He left the room immediately after. I knew he wouldn't have a hard time finding him. He's good like that. He always knows everything about everything.

I looked down at my phone and saw the hundreds of messages from Wooyoung. I honestly can't talk to anyone that's associated with Hyunjin right now. It's nothing against Wooyoung, he's one of my best friends. But right now, I need to be left alone.

I'm broken inside. It feels like a piece of me has been crushed into oblivion. I've experienced true pain in my life before and the way I'm feeling is too familiar. It's been a week now and I'm still a mess. I don't know when I'll ever get over it. I made sure to block him on everything just because I knew he'd try to contact me. I saw him in the hallway today for the first time since Valentine's Day and I ran to the bathroom because I was having a panic attack. I almost didn't recognize him. His hair was black, the circles around his eyes were practically purple, and he was wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt. He's always dressed nice for school. It went along with his 'confidence boost' bullshit. I want to feel bad for him, but this is what he gets for being a lying cheater.

How could he do this to me? I was always there for him, I always supported him, I was by his side at all times. He knew I loved him more than anything and yet it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. It's a common theme in my life apparently. I'm just not enough for anyone. I'm sensitive and I panic rather quickly, but Hyunjin has pushed me to a point where I feel completely numb.

I know I'm really young, but I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else. It was so perfect in the beginning. It was everything I ever wanted. He was everything I ever wanted. I loved him. I loved him so fucking much. I wish I told him more about how amazing I thought he was. Maybe I could've convinced him that he was perfect from the start. He never needed to change and try to be different.

I looked up and the painted portrait of me with the butterfly, as well as the first portrait of my eyes, stared right at me. I taped the ripped one back together the best I could and hung them both up on my wall. He was so talented. His art was so beautiful. I loved watching him completely immerse himself in his work. He seemed so relaxed and at peace.

I went onto my phone and decided to delete every single picture of us together. I already wiped him off my social media so this was next. I can't have any trace of him left. It'll just make it worse. But there was one particular picture that caught my eye. I remember quickly putting the phone in front of us and took the picture before he could even react. I couldn't believe how perfect he still looked. I was debating whether or not I should keep just one. But I needed to be strong about this, no exceptions.

He needs to be gone for good. I can't give bad people chances. It's like reading the same book over and over and expecting a different ending every time. Once a cheater, always a cheater. And if he really is doing drugs, I'm sure Hongjoong will have no problem standing by his side whether it's doing them together or trying to stop him. Whatever, it's not my problem anymore.

And it'll never be ever again.