A Collection of Heartstopper Oneshots

Perfect Porcelain - Zitronenhai

Summary:

Shattered porcelain sits in a pile as Charlie inspects each one, testing the edges, looking for the one which is perfect. It needs to be perfect.

Nick's hands on his shoulders are doing little to slow him; it must be perfect.

"Char, please. Come to bed." Nick tries to pry a long, jagged piece from his fingers, flinching when he sees the small trail of blood. "Char, you don't need to do this."
Notes:

For MP84.
MP is wonderful, and that's all you really need to know.
(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:
There are so many pieces.

Shattered porcelain sits in a pile as Charlie inspects each one, testing the edges, looking for the one which is perfect. It needs to be perfect.

Nick's hands on his shoulders are doing little to slow him; it must be perfect.

"Char, please. Come to bed." Nick tries to pry a long, jagged piece from his fingers, flinching when he sees the small trail of blood. "Char, you don't need to do this."

Charlie pushes Nick away, snatching back the precious shard, tears forming in the corners of his eyes, "I do, Nick. It's for the best."

He continues sorting through, ignoring Nick's pleas, his whole body relaxing as he does it; he finds the perfect piece. He thinks he hears Nick sigh and leave; he'll have to apologise to him later.

***

"FUCK!" Charlie had never heard his voice so loud. For such a kind and sensitive soul, so far, he'd hidden his ability to project. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He was panicked and began sobbing. And then he ran.

Charlie had called after him but was stuck in his place. He couldn't chase him; all he could do was watch him leave.

***

Nick lies in bed wishing Charlie would join him. He knows better than to interfere when Charlie's mind is made up, but it still makes him sad. He trusts Charlie; he knows everything will be okay, but he just wishes he didn't have to fall asleep alone.

He hates it. It doesn't happen often, but when Charlie isn't next to him, he never sleeps well. His dreams run wild, he's pulled into chaos, he's tense. It's like Charlie is what tethers him to peace and rest, but his absence gives permission for his brain to abandon logic and reality, teasing him instead of recuperating.

He knows he's overreacting. He probably shouldn't feel this way still. Not after fifteen years together. He's a sap of the highest order and probably should learn to let Charlie have his space.

But Charlie was the best thing to ever happen to Nick, and their wedding was one of the happiest days of his life, and their marriage has been wonderful, despite the hard work that comes along with it.

Yes, he's a sap. But he's a sap alone in their bed while Charlie doesn't choose him, and tonight, the bed is cold and lonely. Tonight, his dreams are more like nightmares. Tonight, his nightmares are long and jagged like the ugly shard that cut into Charlie's beautiful, porcelain skin.

***

Charlie tiptoed through the mess, finding safe spots on the floor, hoping to be able to reach him, but his door was closed, and whilst they didn't allow locks, he'd jammed something in the way so it couldn't be opened.

He knocked and called out, but there was no response; just muffled cries from what he imagined was a red, splotchy face buried in his pillow.

He knew he'd have to give him time. But it hurt. He thought they'd worked through this already. They'd agreed he wouldn't run away again, that they'd talk instead, that they'd hug and work through it. But he knows it's not always that simple. Sometimes, people revert to their fight or flight, and today he chose to flee.