Unintentional Subject - Book 1 In The Jessie Series

Chapter 21: Three Months

The next few weeks all meshed together. Wake up next to Minho, get ready, run the maze. We kept our relationship quiet, though I'm sure most guys had figured it out. But it's not like we held hands and were all kissy. We kept our stony hard appearances outside of our room. Though he was a bit more possessive and flirty. If a Greenie came they probably wouldn't notice anything.

The odd time when he sensed my mood shifts he'd place a gentle hand on my back. The odd time Babe would slip out when he was talking. But the glances from across the table or wherever we were, that was still a thing, that never changed. He also knew when to give me space. He knows I don't like people, so even when he gets to be too much he doesn't take it personally, because I always come back.

Like now. Now I sat perched on the tip top of the barn roof. Away from everyone. The sun had set and it was dark and quiet in The Glade. My mind wandered. How far I'd come in almost three months since I showed up. Sonya had tried, but where she failed, Minho succeeded. Maybe it's because he was more similar, and understood my moods and how I proceed things. I sighed, running a hand through my long black hair.

If Sonya could see me now.

What a sad thought..I hadn't thought of my first maze in a long time. How were the girls doing...what about the boy? Did he wake up... how's he doing with all the girls?

I shook my head, trying to rid the thoughts of Sonya and the others. It just made me sad, and depressed which turned into anger, and that fuiled my need for a knife on my skin. I felt the itch. My fingers twitched. I clamped my jaw and squeezed my eyes closed. I had been good for a while. Minho was proud of me. Same with Newt and Winston... But when my mind had time to drift off...

My hand had wrapped around the handle of my smaller on. I felt the sting of tears. My hand shook. I caved I couldn't control the monster anymore. It was always there, hiding, waiting. I ripped the cuff bracelets off.

I exhaled slowly almost like in relief when I felt the sharp sting. I did it again. And then again. A few more times. I knew I needed to stop. Minho would find out.

Shuck him, let him find out!

I growled at myself. And shook my head.

No. We're not doing that. Trying not to hide secrets... except you do. You have terrible secrets.

I argued with myself. My past verses what I wanted to be. But its hard to change. Old habits and the familiar are hard to fight.

You're a monster...and killer... violent little monster. Monster... murder.

I let the tears fall as I ran the blade across one more time. I let a small gasp out.

Shuck. Now I need to bust into the med room.

I watched the blood drip. The pain numbed everything else. Keeping my arm turned up I got down from the roof. Sticking close to the trees in the shadows I made my way silently back around to the Homestead. I passed the front door and went to the back where I knew the window was.

I jumped and grabbed the board that stuck out weird. I hissed as my now bloody hand seared in pain. I pulled myself up, finding the now familiar footholds on the wood wall. I scaled the wall with relative ease. My arm stung and my had was sticky with blood now. I made it to the window and pulled myself up, crouching on the windowsill. Waiting quietly making sure no one was around.

I slid to the floor silent as a shadow and crept across the room to the supply shelves. Grabbing what I needed I got to work. Cleaning the blood up took longer then I anticipated. I had it almost wrapped when I heard footsteps. I sprung to the window. The door opened.