Unintentional Subject - Book 1 In The Jessie Series

Chapter 59: Heavy

I blinked slowly awake. My eyes were tired and dry. It had been a long night. Minho had passed out again, but woke a few times to throw up only to pass back out. I didn't bother getting Jeff. What were they going to do? So instead I had curled up at the foot of the bed, and woke up every time he groaned or whimpered. My heart still felt like it was crushed, and my body felt heavy. It was still early.

"Hey Love."

I yawned and stretched. Slowly sitting up I looked around. Newt and Winston were slowly and quietly closing the door. They slid into the chairs by the bed.

"How's he doing?"

I shrugged, looking over at Minho's curled up sleeping form.

"He's not going anywhere today." I said quietly. "He threw up a few more times last night."

"Well as awful as it sounds that's good." Winston said, "the more he can get out of his system the better."

I just nodded sadly. I sniffed hard, and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands. I felt a hand on my knee and a gentle squeeze.

"I think you should go sleep, Love." Newt said gently.

"No. I've gotta take Thomas out." I said dropping my hands. I looked at Minho again, my shoulders dropped. "You...you guys won't leave him, right? Not alone in the med Hut..."

"Yeah JayJay someone will be with him." Winston said quietly.

"I'll be here for the morning Love."

"Thank you." My voice was even quiet. "If you hadn't come when you did...I don't know..." I trailed off again and looked away, tears stung my eyes.

"I know. And I'm sorry you ha-"

"Yeah. Whatever." I said sharply, standing up. My heaviness turned anger. "I'll be back later. Thanks for staying."

I left the room before I could cry again, I went to our room to grab clothes, I still smelt like smoke and was still covered in soot and ash. Pushing the door open I stopped. Someone had cleaned up. Probably Newt and Winston. My heart did something, like it missed a beat or sealed with gratitude or some emotion I wasn't I had experienced.

I grabbed my stuff and went to the showers. Standing in the shower with hot water felt good, it cleared my exhaustion, woke me up a bit. Feeling clean again, I turned the water off and got dressed. Once I was done I went for coffee.

Teresa was standing behind the counter chatting with Frypan, Thomas and Winston. She was using her hands to talk and had a big smile. It faded and Fry's chuckle died when I slowly walked up.

"Don't stop on my account." I snapped.

"Jess...how are you doing?" Teresa asked.

"I'm breathing so I'm fucking fine."

"Jess..." Thomas started, he gave such a piercing look I actually faltered.

"Jessie, I was there, Winston was there... Don't lie, we know. How are you actually doing?" Teresa asked.

Her voice was gentle but firm, she had reached across the counter and put her hand gently on the coffee mug, making me stop. She didn't actually touch me, but she made me stop. I looked away, blinking hard. I shrugged. Winston hooked my arm and pulled me to an empty table, Thomas followed and Teresa came around the counter and slid onto the bench infront of me, beside Thomas.

"It's just us now. Out with it." Winston demanded.

"How am I supposed to feel? He rips into me about doing shit like that. Tells me he'll always be there. Promises everything, is...he's my rock..he can bring me down with his voice and then... Then...he tries to off himself. How am I supposed to feel Winnie?"