Taylor x Travis: In Every Life

it's not your fault

A/N: I know some of the details about Ana and her family are wrong, I didn't want to google the correct answers out of respect. Rest in peace Ana xxx

17th November, 2023

I paced up and down my dressing room, tossing my microphone from hand to hand as I hummed to myself. When I turned to look at the clock, I frowned. My stage manager was late on her cue to signal me to start the show. She was never late. It was only five minutes, but we had never once got more than a minute or two off schedule. I wanted to go out and try to figure out what the issue was, but I knew better than that. I'd just get in the way.

But when another five minutes passed and no one came, curiosity got the better of me. With a sigh, I crossed to the door and then jumped back with a yelp when I saw Daya - my stage manager - standing there with one hand raised like she'd been about to knock. She flinched too and I held a hand to my heart, laughing.

"You scared the shit out of me!" I shook my head. "What's going on?"

"Something's...happened." Daya lowered her voice and the smile vanished from my face at her tone. "I think we should sit down."

"Okay." I swallowed, shifting so she could come inside. Slowly, I closed the door and then sat down at the little table. Daya sat across from me as I placed the microphone down on the table between us, and the expression on her face was terrifying me. Something was really, really wrong. Not a technical problem; something personal. 

"We...we lost a member of the audience." Daya said slowly, and my body stilled. "She was dehydrated, flustered, and she'd contracted heatstroke. She went to the paramedics, but they couldn't save her." I was frozen, unable to move as I cast my eyes down. "People have been reporting heatstroke all day, there just isn't enough water."

"Why isn't there enough water?" My head snapped up. "We had enough water for everyone three times over."

"It's because it wasn't free. It made it hard for people to access it, and they weren't allowed to bring any inside."

"What was her name?"

"Her name was.." Daya paused as if she didn't think she should tell me. "Ana. Ana Benevides."

I nodded, tears welling up and dripping down my cheeks as I stared down at my hands. Ana Benevides had a family, a life, aspirations and dreams. I'd taken that from her because I'd overlooked something I should have paid more attention too. Why hadn't I made sure the water was free? I'd asked for it to be, but hadn't seen it through properly. Ana Benevides was dead because of me. Because of me.

"We can move tonight's show..."

"No." I whispered. "Just, give me a few minutes. Please."

"Okay." Daya got to her feet, taking the hint. "I'll push everything back until you're ready. Just make your way down." 

I nodded as she left, closing the door behind me. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I cried silently, my heart breaking into tiny pieces in my chest. As I cried, I reached for my phone and slowly searched for Ana Benevides. When it loaded and I found a picture of her, it made it so much worse. She was young, smiling, bright and happy. With so much ahead of her. She was so beautiful, with so much light in her eyes. I'd taken that away.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Knowing I had to pull myself together for the thousands of people waiting, I quickly forced my emotions down and smoothed over my expression. In a few minutes, no one would ever have to know I'd been crying. Before I left my dressing room, I spent a few minutes typing out a message to post, and posted a statement about what had happened before putting my phone down and leaving the room, microphone clutched tight in my fist.