Taylor x Travis: In Every Life

i've got you (the pt 2 saga)

part two of 'stay with me', TW's apply from first part

Travis' POV

Taylor was discharged two days later, and I was on strict instructions. I wasn't allowed to leave her alone until she was making progress, and I had to monitor her recovery in so many different ways to make sure I was helping her the best I could. 

"There's cameras." Taylor whimpered as we walked slowly out into the lobby, her arm wrapped around mine. She'd adamantly refused a wheelchair and was wearing one of my hoodies to hide the bandage on her left arm. I glanced out of the front to see cameras waiting there.

"Okay, let's put your hood up." I murmured, helping her to tuck the back of the hoodie up over her head. Taylor pulled it down to hide her face as best she could, and security followed us closely as we walked to the doors. "I've got you baby, I've got you." I rubbed Taylor's shoulders as she turned her face against my shoulder, letting me lead her, hiding away from the cameras that flashed at us. "We're almost there." I reassured her.

Shielding her as best I could, I helped my girlfriend into the car before getting in with her. Taylor immediately tucked her knees up to her chest, ducking her head like she was still trying to hide. 

"Hey, hey." I reached out and put my arm around her shoulders as she started to shake, crying. Taylor just shook her head. "Baby don't hide from me." I begged. "We talked about this. I know you're scared, but I'm here and you know you can talk to me."

"I just want a hug." Taylor sobbed, and I nodded as she turned against me. She buried her face in my chest, crying, and I hugged her tightly, knowing she wanted to feel like someone was holding her together. It broke my heart that she didn't feel strong enough to do it herself, but I'd never let her cry alone.

Taylor sobbed into my shirt, and she soon brought tears to my eyes as well. It hurt so much to see her in so much pain, to know what she'd tried to do herself a few days ago. I blinked away tears the whole drive home, just holding Taylor's trembling body. She needed to be held, but I needed to hold her too. I needed to know she was here, that I hadn't lost her.

When we got home, I helped Taylor inside and into bed. She curled up there, not crying anymore, but giving the occasional sniff as I tucked the blankets up over her shoulders. My heart hurting, I sat down next to Taylor and stroked her hair gently, knowing it comforted her. It hurt so much to see the happy girl she usually was turned into someone who had tried to take her own life, and I couldn't stop my mind from blaming itself. Of course it was my fault she'd done it. If I had done enough, I could have stopped her.

"Baby I'm so sorry." I whispered. "I'm so sorry I didn't help you. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."

"What?" Taylor rolled over, sniffling as she looked up at me. 

"I should have known, I should have helped you." I swallowed as I fought tears desperately.

"No." She breathed, reaching out and touching my hand. "Travis you didn't know. I didn't know. I'm the one who's fucking sorry." Taylor climbed into my lap and curled up there, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck. "I'm fucking sorry." She whispered. "I hate myself like this because I see what it's doing to you." I sighed, ducking my face into her soft blonde hair as I hugged Taylor tightly. "I'm sorry Travis." She sobbed. "I just felt so alone, I didn't know what I was doing and I wish I hadn't done it. I should have asked for help."

"Shh." I murmured as she started hyper-ventilating. "Shh baby, shh. It's okay. Just breathe."

Taylor fought to breathe as I rubbed her back gently, and slowly, she managed to calm down. She remained in my lap, burying her face in my neck with her arms tight around me. I knew she just needed to know she wasn't alone, that she wouldn't be left alone, and I knew I would never let that happen. I would never let her feel so bad she thought she had no other choice but to leave.