Taylor x Travis: In Every Life

don't go

Travis' POV

The apartment was cold, even through the heater that had been on all day to work against the chilly air of winter and snowstorm howling outside. It was silent, just like it had been for the last two hours.

I felt guilty, but I also felt wounded enough that I didn't want to break the silence first. Taylor and I had our fights just like every couple did, but this one had hurt more than most. We were both tired, grumpy about being snowed in for the last few days, bored. I'd said things, she'd said things, and we'd taken it too far arguing about our schedules and priorities. I knew I'd hurt her too, but her snappy comment had cut deep. 

"If I'm not a priority anymore just say that, because I'm damn used to being the second option but I didn't think I'd ever be the second option with you!"

She'd gone to bed ten minutes ago in a rage and I'd remained on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. I stayed there for about half an hour before I gave in and got to my feet, slowly turning off the TV and making sure all of the curtains were closed. Flicking off the light, I walked down to the bedroom and paused, looking at the door. It was ajar just a fraction, and I stared at it for a long moment, trying to decide whether to go in.

But I was pretty sure that it wouldn't end well if I went in, so I sighed and turned away. I didn't even want to go in anyway. I wanted to be alone, so I walked down to the spare bedroom and went in. Moving to close the curtains, I threw an extra blanket on the bed and lay down on my side. I let out a sigh, forcing myself to close my eyes. It took me a really long time to get to sleep, but eventually I did.

I didn't know how long later, but after a while I was jolted out of sleep by a terrified scream. Blinking incoherently, I rolled over and sat up, rubbing at my eyes. Then I heard another scream.

"No!" Taylor shrieked. "No!"

Finally realizing the screaming was real, I scrambled out of bed and rushed out of the room. Stumbling down the dark hallway, I burst into the bedroom, ready to beat the shit out of whoever was hurting Taylor. But there was no one there. Taylor was tangled in her blankets, thrashing, screaming, her eyes closed. Nightmare.

"No, no, no!" She shouted, her face screwed up in pain.

"Taylor, baby!" I said loudly, rushing over to the bed and sitting down next to her. Reaching out, I shook her gently, not wanting to scare her too much out of her unconsciousness. "Wake up baby, wake up, it's just a nightmare."

Taylor's eyes flew open and she gasped, scrambling to sit up as she looked around wildly. Then she looked at me and blinked, her face crumpling. Her lip trembled as she tried not to cry, turning over and lying down on her side facing away from me. 

"Hey, hey." I said, reaching over and resting my hand on her waist. "I know you're mad. I am too, but you don't have to shut me out."

"I thought I wasn't enough of a priority for you to care." Taylor mumbled, hiding her face.

"Baby I never said that." I whispered. "I never said you weren't a priority. You know you're always the most important part of my life."

"Yeah but you still want to leave." She sniffed.

Even though I was still mad at her for a few snappy comments she'd made earlier, I felt awful that she thought I was abandoning her. Over the course of our relationship we'd always prioritized each other over everything, and we still did. Taylor's birthday was in two weeks, and in a week her and I were flying to Reading to spend ten days at her Mom's house at Taylor's request. She was really excited to see her family and friends that were coming for her birthday, but then I'd got a call this morning about some gala that needed a host and they'd asked for me personally. Taking the job would mean I wouldn't make it to Reading until the morning of Taylor's birthday, and even though she'd tried to take the news well it had ended in an argument.

"Baby you know I haven't decided yet." I said quietly. "I don't want us to fight about this." Yes she'd thrown some harsh words at me too, but one of us had to take the first step to making this better, and I knew she wasn't going to do it as upset as she was. She had every right to be disappointed that I might miss her birthday.

"Please leave me alone." Taylor mumbled. "I don't want to talk about it." She pushed my hand off her waist and I swallowed, feeling helpless. We always tried to work past our fights, but Taylor had put up a wall that I didn't know how to get part. I certainly wasn't going to leave her alone, because I knew that's not what she wanted even if that's what her lips said. I knew her. If I left, it would only get worse.

So I did the only thing I could think of to do. I lay down, slipping under the blankets next to my girlfriend. I didn't touch her, leaving enough space between our bodies that she could feel like she was still by herself, but close enough that she could turn into my arms at any point. Taylor didn't move, just lying there on her side, giving the occasional sniff. I couldn't even close my eyes; all I could manage was lying there, watching her. I was so used to holding her when she was upset, kissing her hair, rubbing her back, but I couldn't do any of that right now. 

"I'm going to turn it down." I said quietly a long while later. "I shouldn't have even considered it, and I'm sorry, because I know how important these things are to you. You and I planned this, and I'm going to tell them to find someone else. I'm sorry baby, I know how much you want me there."

Taylor didn't say anything, didn't react in the slightest. I paused, wondering if maybe I should leave her alone after all. She hadn't ever shut me out like this before, and I didn't want to push it, so after a moment I sighed and sat up, intending to leave. Then I felt the bed shift and suddenly there was a hand attached to my wrist. Looking over, I saw Taylor had rolled onto her other side to grab my arm, still not looking at me. 

"Don't go." She mumbled. "I'm scared."

"Scared of what baby?" I whispered. 

"Nightmares." Taylor sniffed.

I nodded, lying back down. Taylor released her grip on my wrist, letting me wrap my arms around her. She tucked her arms up to her chest, fists clenched by her face as I reached to pull the blankets higher. Taylor cuddled close, resting her head against the crook of my shoulder and pressing her warm body against my side. Letting out a slow breath, I kissed her hair and let my gaze drift up to the ceiling.

"I'm sorry too." 

"What for?" I murmured, looking down.

"For being unreasonable." Taylor mumbled. "If you want to take the job, you should. It's just a party."

"No baby I'm coming with you." I assured her. "It's not a big deal for me to turn down the gala. You're more important."

Taylor sniffed, looking up at me. In the dark, I could just see the smudgy red surrounding her eyes and I immediately lifted a hand to stroke her cheek. She sighed, stretching up to press her lips against the corner of my mouth.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "Let's forget this okay?"

"Okay." I tucked a hand under her chin, lifting it higher so I could kiss her properly, glad we were past this. "I love you Taylor, you know that." I murmured to her.

"I know." Taylor shifted closer. "I love you too."