enchanted

38

Do you ever fear that you're alone and there's nothing left for you? Like you're stuck in the middle of the ocean and you can't swim? Half of you says screw it and wants to just drown, but there's always that piece of you that keeps fighting to survive.

When i'm without him, it really gives me the opportunity to get lost in my darkest and deepest thoughts. I sometimes feel like I am sinking deeper and deeper, but he's that last breath, that instinct that tells me to keep my head above water.

I was always that person in a trio that ended up third wheeling. The person that walks behind when there's only space for two people on the sidewalk. And when i'm offered to stand with someone else, I say no, because I don't want anyone else to feel alone the way I do. I choose to feel left out because I don't want anyone else to feel the pain.

Usually I'm the light in most people's life. I would never tell anyone how I really feel. In reality, i'm everyone's shoulder to cry on. The only problem is that my shoulder is slowly breaking and dislocating, and I don't know how much longer i'll be able to hide my sadness...

——

I'm packing for Florida, and I need to convince Presley and Lacy to come. As much as I could use a vacation alone with Lucas, his friend will be there too and I don't want to feel awkward.

I'll go to Lacy first.

Her door isn't usually closed, but it is right now.

I knock on it and open it to see her sitting on her bed, reading a book.

Usually she's out with Presley doing something stupid, I almost always sit out because I feel I don't belong there with them.

"Hello?"

She finally looks up at me, not showing much interest in the fact that i'm here.

"Do you want to come to Florida with me for the long weekend?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'll be with Noah, and I don't want to go to Florida."

"Fine", I just walk out and go to Presleys room.

Her door is wide open, she's sitting upside down with her head hanging off her bed and her feet on the wall.

"Presley."

"What?"

"Do you want a boyfriend."

We make eye contact, I think I got her interested.

"Yes."

"Come to Florida with me and Lucas, he has a single best friend."

Let's hope he's single.

"When?"

"Long weekend."

"Sounds like a deal," she says.

I'm surprised she's going.

"Lacy isn't coming by the way."

"Okay."

For some reason I had a feeling she would drop out of it.

Looks like me and Lucas are going on our first vacation together, and i'm setting Presley up with a boy. Hopefully he's cute.

I have the best and worst feelings about this.

At least I have this whole school week to consider canceling.