enchanted

48

Dear Lucas,

Monday was a hard day. We had parted from each other after the flight because you said you didn't feel well that day. The only plans I had were nothing, to do nothing at all. I was going to call you later that day to make sure you felt better, if you didn't I was going to visit you. That boy you saw me with, that was Dean. He knocked on my door. He was drunk. He touched me. He made me touch him back. He raped me. I had no choice but to be under him. I cried because I didn't think you'd believe me when I told you that. I was too scared to say it out loud, but we can still talk about it out loud if you want to. I was too scared to talk to you this week. I haven't even seen you this week. I want to see you next week and I want to hug you and kiss you again and love you. Because I can't picture myself loving anyone besides you, if it's not you it's not anyone. I want to see you so bad and I've wanted to. But i'm scared. I'm scared to tell you this out loud so i'm telling you on paper. If you decide that you don't want me then I'll leave you, but i'll always love you. Your smile, your eyes, your little dimple when you laugh too hard, your hate for mint chocolate chip ice cream, everything. The positives and negatives. I love you. I love you so much. Too much. It feels like the sun hasn't been out all week. It only shines when i'm with you. When i'm with you, it's like warm summer rain and a rainbow. Without you, it's thunder and lightning. Forgive me and stay with me, we can talk about it. This can either be closure or just the beginning.

Love,
-Sydney

With teardrops on the pretty paper, I seal it and I put it in his mailbox.