enchanted

45

Lucas's pov:

The flight home was exhausting, I woke up feeling under the weather slightly.

I know that the second I get home I would completely crash, and hopefully feel better.

I'm planning on taking Sydney on a date tonight, it's been awhile since we've actually gone on one together. We can go get ice cream and walk just like we used to. Later in the day I can surprise her, I know she'll be home. It's crazy how you sometimes wish you could unmeet a person just to be able to meet all over again and go back to how it used to be. Not that I don't like how it is now, but reliving the best moments with someone you love is something everyone wishes for.

Right now I feel like absolute crap, though. Because I'm struggling to nap and I need a nap. I'm tired, very tired.

Maybe a shower can help me. I can take a nice one, no longer than twenty minutes though. Usually I only shower for ten minutes, it really doesn't take that long to wash your body and your hair.

She has her own soap in this shower, and her own toothbrush in the cabinet. I decide to use her body wash instead of mine, just because I'm not with her right now but I want to be.

I forever want to be next to her and tell her I love her every morning. I want to have coffee at midnight and start a family with her. And when high school is finished, I want to share a last name. I would never be able to imagine my life with another at this point. I can't help but fear that things may go downhill completely.

———

I definitely needed that nap.

I feel a lot better now, no fever and I don't feel sick. Not even a little bit.

I'm going to drive to her house, knowing her she probably looks well dressed. Even when she has nowhere to go she looks beautiful, it amazes me.

Her house isn't far, but I wish I could just walk there. It would make things a lot easier, but I wouldn't trade the short distance for anything else.

Im at her house now, nobody else is home because there are no other cars in the driveway. Just hers, like I wanted it to be.

I knock on the door but there isn't an answer. I knock again. Nothing.

Instinct tells me to just open it, it's unlocked anyways so I do.

I say hello, and I hear nothing.

Maybe she's in her room, or in the shower. That is if she is even home.

The door is closed by a small crack, I knock and push it open.

She is there, but she's not the only one there. She's under a man, and it's not me. She looks over and sees me, and she shakes her head. Almost like she's in danger. How could she? How could she just lay there under him? Why would she ever be so unfaithful?

I just want to sink down and die because I feel betrayed. I did everything I could for her, and I guess it wasn't good enough. It makes me feel so unworthy. I was just thinking about how I wanted to spend my entire life with a woman who's in the arms of another man.

What did I do wrong?

Why can I never be good enough?

I need to leave here, and I need to leave completely. Clearly I was never her only love, and I can't help but question if she ever really loved me.

I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, now that I can't have her I'll have nothing.

All of the words I said, all of the vulnerability I let out. Did they mean nothing? Was I never the first thought in her head?

I don't even know if I'll ever want her back, but I need her at this point.

I need her like a plant needs sunshine and a human needs oxygen. I need her like a rainbow needs rain to form.

And I guess she was never really mine. Not before, not now, not ever.

I feel betrayed, but I'm not surprised. Life always seems to do these things.

The greatest loves of all time only exist in novels.

I'll go home now, and wait for her to call me. I'll wait for a super good reason on why that had to happen.

It would've been cool if she was the one, but if it's real it will come back to me.

Or maybe i'm just being dramatic.