enchanted

53

There's something about the way I love you that is just indescribable.

Every time I look into your eyes I see some sort of infinitive feeling of love.

It doesn't matter if that day you had made me feel joy, attitude, anger, jealousy, sadness, anxiety, or happiness. At the end of the day, I will always feel the same about you.

We could walk through a thunderstorm where the wind is blowing everything out of place, and when I hold you it would feel the same as a day with sunshine and immense happiness and almost perfection.

I love you so much it's indescribable, but if I had to choose a way to describe it, I would say that our love is enchanting.

There feelings I have for you are enchanted.

———

I haven't kissed him in what feels like forever.

The way that his lips were against mine was like rediscovering your favorite song that you forgot existed.

You always had known about it but you didn't realize till now that it was your favorite.

I don't even remember the last time I really kissed him, I haven't even really had the chance to see him.

To be fair, I hadn't spoken to him for about a week.

It's crazy how sometimes a week and twenty years can feel like the same amount of time.

We had kissed for a while. We took breaths and kept going and stopped and started again.

I can't say I counted the amount of time my lips were touching his.

Now, we were just sitting on my bed together, waiting for something else to happen.

"I'm going to kill him."

Oh.

"As much as I don't feel the need to talk you out of that, you probably shouldn't kill him."

"So maybe murder is a bit of an extreme, but he's real funny if he thinks he's off the hook. What even happened?"

"He came into my house drunk and raped me."

"More detail?"

"Well he knocked on my door and I answered him. He was drunk, I was not. He raped me, I'm traumatized."

"More detail."

"I was home by myself. I heard a knock on the door and I went to open it to discover he was there. I was confused but he invited himself in. He was clearly drunk and started to smother me, and somehow brought the conversation towards my bed and started to turn it into something sexual. I was obviously uncomfortable the entire time and when I saw you I swear in that moment I wanted to end my life."

He just watched while I explained, probably not sure on what to say in that very moment. Slowly, he nodded his head and soon I felt two arms around my body.

"I love you, if you couldn't tell," he said quietly but loud enough for me to hear if I was on the other side of the room.

"I love you too, and I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I shouldn't have even opened the door."

"You can't blame yourself for something like that."

"Did I cheat on you?"

"It wasn't your choice. Yes, you did have sex with someone who's not me while we are dating. That out of context would mean you cheated on me. But, you didn't want to have sex with him, it happened out of your control."

"I still feel like there's something I could have done-"

"Sydney, if you blame yourself again I'm going to lose whatever of my mind I have left at this point."

I smile a genuine smile. It feels like he always knows how to brighten things up without even intending to.

I touch at his arms so he takes them off of my waist, and I kiss him again.

Things might be different now, and I might feel some sort of shame from the past. But when I kiss him, it's the same.

He's still the same person he's always been, his lips are still sweet, and they have the perfect balance between gentle and controlling.

I'm so grateful that he ended up forgiving me for this, and we can move past it now.

I don't know what I did to deserve someone as perfect as Lucas.