enchanted

56

Lucas

Today is my birthday.

Growing up I was always excited for my birthday, because I secretly crave attention from people and there's one day that you'll get it. Now, I couldn't care less. You get cards that you eventually have to throw out, and you get anxious over the amount of people talking to you.

It isn't very fulfilling.

Unfortunately it's unavoidable, it comes once a year and there is nothing you can do about it. You grow, get older, and physically and mentally start to rot.

You're one year closer to death.

Today is like a checkpoint, and I can honestly just pretend it doesn't exist.

Hard to do when you have a best friend coming from Florida and a girlfriend.

Also hard to do when your girlfriend is knocking on your door at 9:30 in the morning with brownie mix.

"Hi babe."

"Happy birthday!" she invites herself in and gives me a hug. It isn't the kind of hug that makes you wish hugs didn't exist, it was the kind that made you feel safe.

I hate hugs, she the only one I like hugging.

"Why did you bring brownies?"

"So we can make them, duh."

"They are my favorite," I smile.

She smiles back at me and walks over to the counter to put the box of mix down, and I follow her over.

"So, we should go to my house later if Cristian is still coming."

"Will Presley be home?"

"I'll try my best to get her to stay put."

———

The brownies don't taste terrible, but I don't think me and Sydney should be allowed near any sort of baking mixes anymore.

They are good enough to eat considering I'm completely obsessed with brownies.

Best food ever.

"Brownies are the most amazing thing in the world." I say as a chew on a so called brownie that tastes like dirt.

"More amazing than me?"

"No, you're the most amazing person and brownies are the most amazing thing."

"Me, being your favorite person should not be allowed to make brownies ever again."

"They aren't very good, but it's the effort that counts." I check the time and realize it's almost 11:00 am, "You know you didn't have to show up this morning."

"I wanted to."

"Did you? or were you just being nice?"

"I wanted to, if I wanted to I would and I did."

I smile and lean in to kiss her, she licks her lips and we kiss.

She's perfect.

"I love you," I say in between kisses.

"I love you more, birthday boy."

After that pretty long moment that felt to short, we stop kissing. I look into her eyes and realize that she's either the love of my life or the reason i'd end my life. In other words, I need to be with her forever or I'm doomed. Like, really doomed.

"And when I say I love you I mean it completely." I say that as chill as possible but I still get massive butterflies when I see her. When she showed up at my house today, it was my daily reminder on why life is a journey worth living.

She smiles at me and holds her hands out for a hug.

Feeling extra generous with hugs today, I don't like being touched.

I obviously hug her back and it's one of those hugs where you can feel what other people are saying to you. I don't know what's she's telling me through it but I do at the same time.

Her touch gives me the same feeling I get when I take that first drag of a cigarette, that first bite of my favorite food when I'm starving, my first lick of vanilla ice cream. The only difference between those things and her is that the more of those things I have, the less good it feels. With Sydney, it somehow feels better every time I even look at her.

I couldn't ask for anymore, and I have no clue why God blessed me with something so precious.

Because of that, I thank him everyday for giving me a reason to stick around.