HER JOURNAL

JULY 06, 2025

"Always after the comparison between the sun and the moon, always weighing which matters more?"

We've been compared to someone "better" once in our lives. Once? Really? I'd leave the counting to you, mine needs a calculator 'coz I can't count it with my fingers anymore.

I used to think that wearing the same outfit looks cute. Following the trend makes you part of the circle. Once you stepped out of the sparkling fence, you're the center of the attention. You put yourself there, now you don't belong.

"She's way prettier than you" Sure she's pretty and I'm just pretty screwed.

"She's smarter than you" I guess you're comparing the wrong person 'coz I'd rather daydream than solve a problem on the board.

"She does it better than you" For sure because she's level 10 and I'm level 2.

"She's nice .. and you.." I'm a mirror and I reflect your actions, thank you.

Why are people so obsessed with wanting to be someone else? It's so hard to see the beauty in oneself unless a bunch of people tells you in front of your face that you are worthy and valued. It only looks good in others because they believe it does look good, you're one of the fan too. Meanwhile, you're not a fan of what you have because no one told you it's fine and it also looks good on you. Funny how others opinions weigh more than your belief in yourself. It's always about what they will say but never "This is me and I'm worthy too."

It's exhausting when all your life you relied on others voices to guide you. You're lucky if those voices speaks the language of care and compassion. But what if those voices are deemed to lead you to the path where you'll lose yourself? Always wanting you to be this and that. Always wanting you to be like them. They would point at someone and make them the standard to look up to. They are the correct answer, you need to be them to experience being loved so true. "I should've chosen her, she's better than you."

Sometimes it's not their voices that's pushing you towards the cliff. It's your own voice telling you to become someone else because you don't like you. You pick someone to serve as your basis of what is perfect. "She's perfect, I always wished to be like her." Dear, nobody's perfect - trust me, the standard of beauty states that it must be proportion. Physique, mentality, talent, and emotions must be the perfect combination. Who got all that with zero flaws and like a computer that never malfunctions? We manufacture millions of computers in the whole wide world because we all know that computers malfunctions.

Someday, people will understand the definition of "individual." At the end of the day, we're all humans and no one's better than anyone else. What matters most is that you become yourself. Not her, not him, not they - but you. Be yourself or be a clone of someone else. The choice will always come from you.

Rain