Brain Fart. I've got nothing. Because I have everything. Since I don't have to worry anymore, or care about what others are doing, I have nothing. Because I have everything. The one thing that's getting me worried is Lauren. She met a boy. But he dyes his hair black. He dyes his eyebrows black, and he where's all black. I heard some pretty bad things about him, and he's the same size as Lauren, and just frankly, I think she can do better. But if she gets hurt, I did my part. I warned her, now the hardest thing is, to let her get hurt, because she isn't listening. So I'm going to focus on things I love. Art. I started drawing again, because she left. She left. And my friend Pez said she always puts me down. She always makes fun of me. And I see it. If I wear a low cut shirt she'll say "omg what are you wearing?" And she'll scream it so then I'm embarrassed. She'll say I'm ugly a lot, and she does put me down. So she choose a guy over an 10 year friendship I haven't spoken to her in 2 days. We are avoiding each other completely, and she's not even trying to text me. So the only friend I got is Lou. (Who never does jack shit to me) we hung out yesterday and we watched uninvited (EVERYONE WATCH IT) and he surprised me and picked me up from school. Then we made cinnamon buns and it was a great night that I haven't had in a while. Tomorrow is thanksgiving an I'm working. But I'm happy I work so I don't have to deal with my family. My sister came in from college and she just annoys me so much. She always talks about herself. She always thinks everyone is so happy to see her and life sucks without her. Which is so not true. I like her an all but she gets really annoying. Anyway slutbag was once talking to this guy named Noodles and now he's hitting on me completely. He's asking when were gonna go out and he put his number in my phone and now he's texting me. He put me on his snapchat and it's weird. Like I don't get on best terms with slutbag anymore but I'm not gonna do that because we were once friends. It's like her going after first, or spikes. Like I just don't think it's right. He's a nice kid and all but I would always feel that guilt of doing that in the back of my head. My dad called me today too. He said that we all need to grow up and move past this, but he also said he's proud of me cause I'm working a lot and doing pretty good. I may not have the best grades, but i do work quite a bit. And I cheer. Lauren says she's not cheering next year. But she legit doesn't do anything. Cheer is the only thing she's been doing, and there's legit 10 days that we have to give up to go to a game. Which isn't so bad. I'm realizing that sometimes you just have to let people go. Even if they been in your life for 8 years or even 16 years like my dad. But if my dad's gonna choose my evil step mother over me, and Lauren gonna choose the freak over me, then I jut have to accept it. She's not gonna stop talking to him. So when she does, I'll be here. But I'm not gonna be around when there together because I'm simply scared of him. She claims she knows what she's doing, when she ha never been in a real relationship. Ive never ditched her to be with first. When she told me she didn't like Blondie I dropped him. But she said she didn't like first 2 or 3 years after we were dating, at that point we were in love and there was nothing she can do. But why can't she just listen to me and take my word. I told her, that her last boy you was using her. I was right. I told her that Smelly never would cheat on her. I was right. I never said anything about Errit and nothing really happened with him either. My instincts are usually right. And this times she's not listening so this time she'll get hurt, and I'll just watch her. And I'll be here. Even though she left me. She never texted me or said anything back. She's just gonna make her own mistakes. And she's gonna learn eventually, cause she knows, I'm her real friend. She knows that I almost always tried to listen to her advice, but I've been through more,I know more cause I've been through more than a normal 16 year old should know. We may both know what our history teacher teaches or English. But does she know how to get over your first love? Does she know how to survive a mental hospital? Does she know how to drop her own father and feel nothing? She doesn't. But she'll learn on her own because I can't be her friend and also be okay with the freak. Because of the way she treats me when she's with him. Cause I feel like I'm number 2. And I should never be number 2 when I comes to her. So I'm going to draw. And paint. And sketch and do something that takes my mind off of how my best fiend left for a freak show.
