It's been nearly 2 months since I spoke to Lou. He is blocked on everything, I don't have any form of contact with him. In one month, I turn 18. The day Lou and I have been waiting for. The day he was going to come with me to get my first tattoo like I did with his first one. The day that we would celebrate our birthdays and the day I finally allowed to do anything I wanted, because I was 18. I couldn't do anything with him because I was always too young. Still needed parents consent. But we don't talk anymore. Not a text, not a call, not a email, nothing. It broke off all together. If you think about it it's sad, but I don't look at it that way anymore. It was a memory I hold forever. My coworker was talking about how this girl dicked him over and my boss who is like a dad to me started telling some stories about his previous girlfriends and nobody will understand how much he helped me. He said I had an older girl, and she broke my heart. And he sighed. He said he fooled around with someone one summer and she left for college, she also broke his heart, and then he said he still remembers them. But his wife was his best friend. Everyone gets their heart broken, but you move on and you do it again. I tried talking to savior after Lou. But it never really worked out. I wasn't into it, he scared me the way he liked me. And once someone tells me that, I run. When Lou said he loved me, I kinda changed and backed off. I acted funny and different and I wasn't his friend anymore, I was his girlfriend. That's what hurt the most. So sorry, but I will never go back to the asshole because of the things he's done to me. Even if I changed, he never had the right to cheat on me and call me names and mentally fuck me up. Sven, his best friend, snap chats me every day since the break to fuck and he sends dick pics at minimum of once a week. I ignore them simple because I'm done. I change my hair every time I go through a break up. When I broke up with first I dyed it red, when spikes and I ended it I went black, when Lou and I broke up the first time I went dark brown with some purple and blue somewhere in it, and then we broke up again and I got bangs and dyed my hair some blonde color. Ya know I'm going through a lot when I got bangs and blonde hair, cause I'm totally not a blonde. I've been with my girls. The day Lou snapped me and said it was over (I know fucking snap chat, didn't even have the balls to do it in person) I thought I was going to just die, but I turned around with tears in my eyes and I see bag and Rine physically right there in front of me. I knew it would be okay, and it was. I saw he was moving on to other hoes and I was moving on with my life. He'll be here forever, I'll be somewhere far away and he'll just be a star in the galaxy that I'll barely remember in 20 years. Relationships are just fucked. Boys need to mature, girls have to learn that boys need to mature, and girls need to stop being so needy. Girls are like snakes. Evil. Venomous. Slimy bitches. Lou moved on to people who used to be some of my close friends, I don't know if that makes him a fuckboy, or if that makes the girl a hoebag. Maybe both. I've learned I'm better without him. It's making me grow as a person and experience some actual experiences. Road trip to California this summer with bag, graduation (something he never experienced) college (that too), chance concert and then finally, moving 6 hours away from the hell hole, snake pit we live in. People are only concerned when they need something or they want to cause drama or know the drama. To the class of 2017, fuck you.
