It's currently 11:57pm. Not feeling school tomorrow, and I was just checking Twitter and I see KPs tweet. I haven't talk to her, like actually talk to her in a long time. I never had an issue with her ever. But I guess we just drifted. I'm not quite sure what happened. But KP and Lou broke up a while ago. And I just feel like sad for her. She loved him. She truly did. And to loose someone you love, is just like stabbing yourself every time you blink. It kills. I think she's putting on some mask. I saw her a little bit ago, and she's just ruined. I could just see the hurt in her eyes. It's sad. But some people aren't meant to be together I guess. No matter how much you love them. Or how much you buy them. Or how much you fuck them. It's just not ment to be I guess. But I know what love is. I felt it. I love my dad. I was heartbroken when he told me to leave and he didn't want me. I didn't tell anyone what he really said to me. I just didn't want people pity. Asking if I'm okay. I'm not. I could act happy. I could be happy at times. But every night I'll come home and just go back to being the sad person I actually am. I felt love for first. But it was a relationship where he didn't care and I did. And spikes, I don't think I ever loved him, but something was there, it hurt when he left. He was my Lou. But Lou and i don't have anything more, me and spikes did, but we never told each other and we just waited to long. I've felt love before. And loosing people you love is just depression waiting to diagnose itself. Lou is the person I really can't live without. I always had a few Bestfriend, Lou was always just a friend. Until all my best friends left and he stepped up. He was just always there. It took me forever to realize it. And just thinking if one day comes cross where me and Lou aren't friends, if be devastated. Heartbroken. And possibly just dead. I have thoughts. What if I died. What if there was no tomorrow. What if I'm gone. My life would be over. I would have no more problems. I would have nothing to worry about anymore. But what about Lou. What about my sister, and my mom. My dad I know cares, even though he doesn't show it. It would be great for me, but a devastation for everyone else. And I can't put people through it, because they do have a life to live. I may hate life, but I don't hate it to the point where I want my Bestfriend to think about me every waking moment knowing I'm not there. I wouldn't want my sister to go through anything alone. And I hate my parents a lot, but I don't want to make the rest of there life's a living hell. I just know how it feels to loose someone you love so fast. Like nothing ever happened. It's just heartbreaking. And KP, I hope you get through it. I'm here.
