And things are good. Lou and I talked, and everything's going uphill now. I got a scholarship for 10,000$ for cheer in a college in Missouri. I'd be stupid to turn that down. I have my Bestfriend by my side supporting me. And I have my favorite two people AIDS and AJ with me 24/7. Life is so good right now. My summer adventures have begun. So far I've went to the drive ins with my best friends. And to the 7 tubs with Lou and smelly and my sister. Me and AJ went to lake jean. My friends and I from cheer went out to eat at moes. It's insane. I have my license and I could just go wherever I want. And having my friends help pay for gas and help me do what we all want to do feels great. I never realized what a true friend was, because mine always treated me like shit. Never helped me out. Used me. But I feel so happy in my own body, and heathy and having AIDS and AJ are the best thing that happened to me. They made me realize that I didn't need a shitty friend. Because I had them. I have my amazing boyfriend. I have more than one friend. One friend that was dragging me down. And loosing that I've been nothing but happy. I've been laughing and going on adventures. I've been exploring with the people who I care about, and they care about me too. I love life. And I love how Lou is in it with me. I love playing with his hair, I love being so close to him I hardly have room to breathe. I absolutely die everytime he scratches my back, lightly and perfectly. I love when he ask for kisses. I love how he's not too tall. And not too short. I love how he's not too nice and not too mean. I love that I could say he's my Bestfriend and mean it 100%. I love staring at each other cause almost 99% of the time in thinking about how much I love this boy. I love waking up to him. I love when smirks. Because it means your hiding a smile. Hell smirk at me annoying him. Hell smirk when he plays with my butt. (I like that too) hell smirk in the middle of me kissing him sometimes and I find that attractive. I like when he starts talking about how he feels. Which is not too often, but once in a while. I love how I can be real and I can be me. I love how his friends are my friends. My friends are his friends. I like this because he doesn't have to separate a day for me. And I don't have to separate a day for him. We just go with the flow most of the time. I love how we can do anything together. And we both want a lot of the same things. Like to travel. To live in another state. To succeed. And I'd like to say we motivate each other. He's my soulmate and hopefully my forever. It's weird saying this now so soon. But we've been friends forever and there's not a day where I don't want to be without him. I just enjoy him. As a friend. So even more, I really enjoy him. I don't know. Sometimes I think he likes us better as friends. It would hurt, but it's okay. I feel like I know how to handle myself well enough to over come that. I've had practice, people leaving and all. But if be okay eventually. And to be completely honest he was the longest relationship I've ever had. I've literally had one other boyfriend. First. And we were off and on for 4 years and never even lasted a month. So this whole relationship thing is so new to me. I'm not going to get used to the morning text and the goodnight text. Just because I've never gotten them before. So just that thing that's so little means so much. I've never had someone want to be with me. I've always felt annoying, and not wanted or needed. It's weird feeling that once in a while, and it feels horrible when I do feel that way. But i guess it's called falling. In love.
