To malik when he's ready to hear everything:
I️ don't want to overly annoy you, and I'm better at thinking about my feelings and writing them down. I️ don't have many regrets about my life, besides one... and that's breaking up with you. You were everything I️ needed and more. You completed me. You hurt me now more then ever, because you simply fell out of love with me. And that's okay, I️ get it, I️ broke your heart. But I️ just want you to know, I️ feel your pain. I️ took it from you. You were the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I️ want you to know that. You might think you have no friends, but I️ think the world can be your friend. You're the funniest, most down to earth, craziest human I️ know. You know every small detail about me, and I️ admire you for that. If you would take me back, I'd make sure I'd never let you go. I️ was trying to focus on me when we broke up, but not long after I️ realized you were apart of me. You complete me. I️ might be 5 hours away, but everytime I️ come back I️ make sure I️ see you. I️ make sure your alright. And hopefully one day you'll tell me your missing me the way I'm missing you, (haha Khalid quote) because malik, your the only person I️ want. And I may be crazy but I'm crazy for you. You used to tell me everything but anymore, you come at me with anger in your voice. It frightens me. The other day when I️ slept over I️ felt safe. Because you were with me, like a tornado can suck us up and I'd be okay with it because I️ was with you. Like a robber would come in and put a gun to my head and say do you have any last words and I'd look at you and scream at the top of my lungs " I️ love you malik" and I'd die happy. You might call me crazy, but I️ can't help but care for you. I️ don't want to let you go. I️ want you to just hug me like you mean it like that time you left up at cal. Or the first time I️ came back and we were on your bed and you tackled me for a hug and it was long and nice and tight. I️ tried, moving on yanno. But I️ thought of you. Your face popped into my head. Kissing other people, and it wasn't you, and I️ wasn't turned on. I️ need you. Everyone's hair was straight, it wasn't curly, and I️ didn't like playing with it. They're bodies were nothing special, yours was always warm and soft. And I️ always felt your ribs through your thick skin. They're hands were boney and long. Yours are rough and magical and easy to hold. They weren't you. And they never kissed me like you do. I️ have to admit, your the best at everything, and your the best at making me fall for you. Your eyes are brown, and they're always glossy and big. I️ fell in love with them first. Your cheeks are big and cute and I️ love touching your face, because I️ find it hypnotizing. And your lips. They're big and I️ love to bite them. They taste like weed and you. And baby you taste amazing. I️ miss us b. You were my best friend and I'm Sorry I️ ruined that, but if you can't see how much I'm aching, and if you can't be with me and your just pushing me to my limits, kill me now b. Because I️ can't push any harder. I'm weak. You need to tell me what your feeling or tell me what I️ am to you. It's hard being your friend, because all I️ want to do is touch you and call you mine. I️ want to show you off and brag about how amazing you are and how happy you make me feel.. but.. if you say we're friends.. I️ don't know. You need to talk to me... I'm Sorry I️ love you. But if you leave I️ understand, fuck my own dad even walked out on me, I️ can handle it, but I'm done fighting for someone who cant see who's right in front of them. And I️ guess if your reading this, you know everything. I️ want you, and if we can't be together, I️ think that means this is goodbye. Because everyday I️ see you and you do something funny I️ laugh and smile and your the person I️ smile the most for, I'm in love with my first love, and for me that's hard to let go of, everyone I️ look at you I️ want to scream and tackle you and hug you and pray to god that we never let go, because your hot. And the room is Smokey and we're burning the place down. But how in a room so cold can be so hot all at once? I️ think we fuck to forget of all the pain we put each other through, because baby our love is toxic flames. I️ can't be friends with you. Because I️ know we're more. And if you don't want me the way I️ want you, and b I️ want you bad, and I️ want to be the only one who gets to taste you and know what your whole body taste like. And on a day to day basis, that is what I️ think about, and that's why we can not certainly be just friends.
