The last time I wrote in this, it was about Apple and bag. A lot has happened since then. I became best friends with aj again, and then she fucked up cause she went to go drinking with my man, I'll let you guys know who that is in a second. Anyway, she lied to me and then slept with one of my friends, square head, while she was dating her bf. I told her bf and he never believed it so, whatever, none of my business. That friendship ended quickly. Now I got my dweebs. Liver and orby. My 100% best friends. The people I could never stay mad at. I went on probabtion, for 3 months, and I fucking graduated high school. And I started hanging out with some really cool people, one of them who is now my boyfriend. (I hope?) guess who. Lou?? Nope. First. I know right?? Shocking, 5 years later and we're back. But it's different this time. I think. But it's just scary cause I'm going to college 5 hours away. I'm going to miss the shit out of him. It all started out with knoebels. I was going to take aj orby and liver, but orby never got her ass up and a random number called me, but with a familiar hot voice. It was first. "Can me, coke and molly tag along and go to knoebels with you guys". I said yea then waited for molly for 2 hours just to get his ass in my car. And from that day on I saw first every single day. He kept saying he loved me and I just wanted to be friends. Because I knew I would catch feeling for this boy all over again if I said I liked him back. Loved him back. Every time I saw him my eyes lit up. Because he is the light of my life. He makes me smile when I'm feeling down, and when I'm with him, I'm almost never sad. Because he's just a really funny person. I was scared to move on, and be with someone again. Lou hurt me pretty good, and I didn't want another boy to hurt me like that again. But first never did. For a good two months. I loved everything he did. For me and just in general. He was kinda clingy and wrote me cute little paragraphs about how much he liked me and how funny I was. He'd tweet cute little things about me and I'd catch him staring at me and smiling. It was cute. And to see the man that was my first kiss and my first for almost everything grow up alittle, made me feel good. He always makes jokes about how short I am and how he has to bend down just to kiss me, and he's not afraid to show me off in front of his friends. He always dropped everything to be with me. He was amazing, and I treated him like shit for the first two months, cause I was deathly scared of falling in love before I left for college. I still am scared, cause I did. I fell in love with my first kiss. My first love, all over again. But this time is perfect. I won't say a fucked up thing he did, because I understood why he did it. I was an ass, to hide something I was actually feeling. I can't wait to see him and never let go. I haven't been this happy in months, and it's because I lost one of the best things I've had. And it was first. Not a lot of people can say their first is now their last. But as of right now, I can. He's worth a million words, and we have a million memories together, and we'll continue to make more. I love him, and even if everything falls apart in the end, I will always love him because he was my first, and the most amazing, funniest most caring person I know. I love you first.
