I feel bad. My sister just got caught by the cops because she stole money from cvs. And I'm just me. I smoke, I occasionally drink, I get bad grades. That's just me. A disappointment. My mom is raising a theft, and a drug addict. And as for her, she can't control her anger. She'll hit me yes. We scream at each other everyday. And my home like isn't the greatest. I don't have a dad. The guy who lives a mile down the road, was just my moms sperm donor. He's never actually here for us. My sister thinks our step dad loves us more then our biological mom. Which in some cases I do find true. Lauren and I are still not talking. We talked for like 2 days cause I was just gonna let the freak go. But then I find out that she almost got pregnet, she was laughing at me with him right in front of my face, and she's changing into a piece of trash. And I don't wanna become friends with trash. So shoutout to Lou for being my only fucking friend, and actually being here for me. (Go my best friend) but it sucks cause my bestfriend isn't in school anymore. He's 18, so it sucks. Yea I have those people I'll say hi too, but they don't know the real me. I can't tell them that my mom hit me an I called the cops on her. I can't cry to them. I can't say "do it" and them know what the joke is. I can't make a million memories with these people, like I can with Lou. And they can't give me motivational speeches. They can't make me laugh like he can. Or be pissed like he can. I have one friend as of right now. And I can't thank him enough for still being here. and I got to give a shoutout to KP. Cause she asked if I was good and obviously I wasn't because of me and Lauren. It was nice to talk it out like old times So thanks. It meant a lot. Recently, I've been a mess. My mom said she doesn't like me. My sister is probably going on probation, I haven't seen my dad in months. And I've also realized something. A few nights ago my mom and I got in a huge fight. I called the cops because she hit me multiple times. They said they couldn't do anything cause she was the only parent I have and it was a 'discipline' thing. I feel like I dont have parents. I don't get along with my mom, and I don't hear from my dad. It kinda sucks. But I also know that as soon as I'm 18 I'm out of here. I'm moving into my own apartment, and I'm done. I'm done getting treated like im nothing. I also have 2 jobs. And those jobs teach me more then school does. Do I want to go to college? No. But am I going to? Yea. School isn't my thing. I don't get good grades, I don't enjoy it. It just sucks. So I'm gonna waste another 4 years doing the same thing, but with different people. Thank god. I don't know what I want to do. I don't know what I want to be, or where I want to live. I hope to to do a lot and impress others, but I'm so undecided it's unreal. And every adult says "you think it's hard now, ha. Wait under your older". If life gets harder... Then I don't know what to do. And I'm sitting here, undecided. Anyway spikes snapchated me and sent me a pic with him and his gf and the caption was "my world." I just laughed. I thought it was so funny. Cause there both in high school. Spikes will go off to college, and then he'll be undecided. And so will she. High school relationships will never work. Were still immature. And were still not sure what we want. So how could another person know what we want if we don't evebVsn know what we want?.... Undecided.
