Loosing you was like loosing myself. You were me. We were one. We'd act the same, do the same, smell the same and even look the same. But you're changing. You're changing for the worst. I'm not the type I person who laughs at their bestfriend with their boyfriend. I'm not the kind of person who doesn't say thank you for doing something nice, and I'm not the kind of person who leaves there bestfriend for there boyfriend. I've been with first for 4 years and never have I ever treated her any differently when I was with him or not. She has no idea that I haven't been talking to my mom or my stepdad, but more so my dad, and trying to figure out if I should move in with him or not. But she doesn't care to even ask, or say hi or anything because she's more worried about her relationship. Not with me, but with the freak. I don't have a problem with him, I'm not judgy, I'm not anything, but when my bestfriend leaves me for you, I don't like you. I hate you. I can't talk to anyone. I can't get the advice I need from Lauren. But if she doesn't care, I'll learn to not care either. But I hope one day she wakes up and fines herself thinking back on all our memories. The drive ins, the time she fell down a flight of stair the first time we smoked together, or cried together or laughed together. Or tried to remember what we did the night before. The night where my mom hit me right in front of her and she didn't say anything she just hugged me. And it happened again but this time she wasn't there. Lou was. I haven't cried in front of him ever. And it was embarrassing. But everything remains the same. I still laugh as hard as I can when I'm around him. But that night I called him bawling my eyes out. Scared. Confused. Needed help. Because I didn't have my twin. My Lauren. I hope she remembers the night we watched Barbie rapunzel with Ana. I hope she wakes up crying and realizes the 11 years we had together. The 120 months we've had. 521 weeks, 3,650 days, 87600 hours, 5,256,000 minutes, 315,360,000 seconds. But she gave it up for a boy who she new for only 5,256,005 seconds. I tried I texted her she never replied back. I snapchated her. No reply. I hope her heart aches like mine is right now and she thinks to herself "she loved me more than anyone else in the whole world, and I'm destroying her." People change but the memories don't. I'm not gonna live in the past with this. If she don't need me, I don't need her. I'll live. And so will she. I'll see tomorrow. So will she. If she jumps off a bridge, this time I'm not going with ya. I learned you still can never trust anyone. Not even your best friend. People change, memories stay, but over time they fade. You forget and move on. Wishing her the best. But I'm not going to follow the path she headed. And since I was her only friend for all these years, I'm the only one actually noticing. She's not my bestfriend who I once knew. And when my children ask why their middle name is gabe or Gabrielle, I'll just say in high school I had a friend She's the girl who I talked to, had fun times with, and we went our separate ways. A lot has changed but I've still remained the same. But I see she hasn't, and that's okay that's her decision, but I'm not gonna be apart of that crowd. It's not me. And no matter what I do, I have to remain the same. No matter what I've been through, who I meet, who I date, or what I've done. It's me. No regrets. That's what made up who I am. And some people will come back to there actual self, others won't. Once again, people do always leave. This is goodbye.
