Nothing has happened. Nothing has been so insane. No big fights. Nothing. I'm shocked. And I partly want to thank my amazing Bestfriend. Lou of course. I've never had a calm week before. Nobody's stealing SIM cards are calling the cops. Nobody's been feeling done or hated. I feel calm, sane, and chill. And actually happy. Feeling that again. Happiness? Forgot what it feels like. I forgot how it feels like to leave someone you love and then miss them in a second. I forget about getting a text that just lighten up my mood and day. I forget the feeling of getting told I love you. Or even feeling loved. I forget that feeling of someone slowly scratching your back. Or the feeling of blushing when he gives you kisses. Or the feeling of smiling alone thinking about him, or just smiling in general. It's different. But the best different I've ever had. I don't know he whole body yet. What he likes and what he doesn't, but I so hope to find out. But I do know just him. I know when he's mad. Or disappointed. Or upset. Or just pissed. I know he likes redbull. And Arizona iced tea. But only the lemon one. I know he hates sharing food. Especially if it's gummy bears. I know sometimes he just doesn't want to talk. And sometimes he just wants to be with his boys. I knew that when we were friends too. I know he hates when I hang out with orby, but love when I bite his lip. I know what he wants before he tells me to stand up and get it. I know when he's drunk. I know when he's fucked. I know when he should probably stop, even though he never does. I know I love him. I know him. But I didn't know we were ever going to be together. And I didn't know I was going to be so happy with him. I never knew what one person could do to you. I know that I can't keep a poker face on when i look at him. I always just end up smirking and then turns in to laughing and playfully slapping him to stop. When the only thing he did was look at him. But that's what he has to stop. Looking at me. Because that is what kills me. Just looking and me feeling a little swirl in my stomach. A butterfly maybe. But it's an amazing feeling to have. I love the feeling of his hands. Their rough, not soft at all, and there way bigger than mine. I love when he puts his hand on my leg and it's all warm in that spot, and I bet the rest is cold cause I'm literally always cold. I love the way he talks and the way his eyes has personality. I love when he tries to rap then messes up and looks down and starts again. And I love how different this is. It's not like first. And it's not like spikes. It's not like blondie. It's my best friend. I could honestly say I'm dating my best friend. Over girls over other guys, he's my best friend. And how perfect is that. Everyone always finds a someone that they think they'll love and all. Like in the movies. In the movies, you never see best friends always getting together. You always see the prince finding a shoe and falling in love. Or waking her up with a kiss. Or falling in love with a beast. But never their Bestfriend. It's my own fairy tale. I'm the princess and he's the prince and we were best friends and one day we said I love you and that was that. Now he's my boy and I'm his girl. And we're going to live in a castle in Oregon and live on a beach, with a dog, maybe 6. Most likely 10. And we'll wake up to each other every morning with the beach view right in front of us. But I might be distracted from his face when i wake up. I could just see a future. I saw one as friends. I just thought we would be like living together and we'd both has someone else. I thought he'd be my best man at my wedding and maybe now he'd be my husband. I guess I could say Lou, i love you. Not love you, or ily. Or luv u. I love you. With my whole heart. I'd take a bullet for you. I'd love to spend every second or every day with you. I promise that I never leave. I will never try and hurt you. I love you. And you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Your the guide that I needed. And the friend I deserved. Your the jelly to my peanut butter, and the fluff to my sandwich. You make me laugh, like I have never laughed before. You're my everything. And I really can't thank you enough for always being there for me, and talking to me, understanding me and etc. I love you Lou.
