The Lunar Chronicles Comms

Moi | Dr. SF

This story was written alongside MrEnchantress, so go check out their stuff!

*this is a parallel to the comm called "Cress | Jacin" written by dr. sf. basically moi finds a portscreen and some weird insanity happens.

Moi: Hey, are you busy? I want to ask you something.
Dr. SF: Yes, I am busy, but ask away.
Moi: So, let's say someone found something that they had only read about in sci-fi novels. What should they do with it?
Dr SF: Well, that depends on what the object is. If it's a death ray, obviously it should be used for death and killing. If it's a dream recorder, use it for recording dreams, etc.
Moi: What if it's a communication device that you have no idea how to use?
Dr. SF: Hmm...is it an old device or a new one?
Moi: It looks pretty beaten up to me, but this technology is something so high-tech that I've never seen before.
Moi: Whoops, well there goes my secret.
Dr SF: What's it like? I have access to some of the government's most advanced technology; I may know what it is.
Dr SF: Wait—forget that! R-RUSSIA KNOWS NO SHAY FANGIRL! I meant...various governments have generously granted me access to recent technology.
Moi: Usually, I'd comment on something like that, but we've had our fair share of dog sitting on our porches today.
Dr. SF: At least I don't have to bring out the memory-gun or anything...
Moi: What...
Moi: Um, back to the topic. I found this really cool silver metal touchscreen box thing, like an iPhone 78 or something, and there was some pieces of a thin screen that might go on a wall and make holograms or something!
Dr. SF: That's interesting. Do you know what it's capable of? Communication? Music playing? Video recording? BRAIN WASHING?!
Dr. SF: I've gotta tell Poland about this...
Dr. SF: Nevermind that last comment, but how did you find it?
Moi: I was walking down the street to your friendly neighborhood Starbucks when a car zoomed past me and splashed the water from a puddle into my face. I cried, and then cried again because the tears ruined my concert t-shirt. I ran all the way to the next city to find some merch because I needed it badly. In this really kooky store with a creepy lady and some purple beads, I found a bracelet for $160. I left, and I tripped on a piece of dust outside. I fell flying towards the garbage can at the theatre and landed on the rooftop garden. There, I found a cabbage plant with silver in it. That's how I found the device.
Dr. SF: That's a very detailed account, but it's missing one crucial piece of information: where was the cabbage plant and who owned it? Was it on an innocent farm, somewhere suspicious or anything in between?
Moi: Well, the plant belonged to the Turkish government and was on the rooftop of a clown shop in the Galapagos. Pretty inconspicuous, if I do say so myself.
Dr. SF: Okay then...May I see this device? It seems quite interesting.
Moi:

Moi: It took me a while to get that picture.
Dr. SF: That's really odd, I've never seen anything like it before.
Moi: I know! It's pretty small and it has a lot of scary buttons. I think that one of them makes it self destruct, one farts rainbows, and one projects a hologram of myself as a chicken.
Dr. SF: Whoa, it can do THAT?! I never imagined a device with those abilities...Are you thinking what I am?
Moi: What? That we should deport Trump?
Moi: Or that phan will come out this year?
Moi: Ooh, I know! The "Unwind" movie will have miscast characters?
Moi: I'm hungry.
Dr. SF: Well I am hungry...And Trump definitely should be deported...And everything else too...
Dr. SF: But that's not it.
Dr. SF: We should figure out how to create an identical device and sell them!
Dr. SF: THEN WE'LL HAVE MONEY TO DEPORT TRUMP!
Moi: THAT IS A PERFECT PLAN.
Moi: The only problem is that I don't remember where I put it.
Moi: Oh wait.
Dr. SF: ...Was it stolen?
Dr. SF: You do realize that if it was stolen...we may have lost our only chance at deporting Trump...
Dr. SF: CAN YOU HANDLE THESE COMSEQUENCES?!?¡
Moi: SIR YES SIR!! I mean, um...
Moi: I found the device thingy. It was sitting in the cabbage juice.
Dr. SF: YOU JUICED A CABBAGE? HOW HEARTLESS ARE YOU?! Wait...
Dr. SF: Is it still functional?
Moi: Yes. I had to bang it on the table for it to work, but now I can watch cat videos again!
Moi: Don't discriminate against cabbages. My aunt is a cabbage juicer and I fOund this iPhone 768 on a cabbage farm in Iowa. I mean, um...not Iowa...uhm...
Dr. SF: Iowa...What about the Galapagos?
Dr. SF: Who are you truly?
Moi: Katie's spon
Moi: ****saTan
Moi: **mY mOtHer
Moi: ****nOt spAwn okAy soz
Moi: I left my sanity in the cabbage juice.
Dr. SF: ...Don't worry, I can get you help
Dr. SF: There's a very secure insane asylum near where I am now.
Moi: will they allow me to keep this device? I put some pictures on here that they shouldn't find...
Dr. SF: It will probably depend on whether they decide it's detrimental to your sanity...
Moi: I don't want to lose it.
Dr. SF: I can try to help you sneak it in if they say no, or I can keep it safe until you get out.
Moi: I don't know if I can trust myself with this device. Can I put my trust in you?
Dr. SF: If you can't trust me, then I don't think you can trust anyone. If you can't trust this sisterhood we've built, then this world is a lie.
Dr. SF: So I hope you can.
Moi: I think I can...as long as you don't open the "CONFIDENTIAL" folder on the device. Also, be careful with the sounds. It makes cat noises if you do stuff with cabbage.
Dr. SF: Okay...I'll be careful with it.
Moi: Okay. I'll send it to you now. Just know that, when I send it, I won't be able to message you any longer, as the device will be in your hands.
Dr. SF: I understand. If I can, I'll visit.
Moi: That's great! Meet me at the back of the asylum so I can hand you the device.
Dr. SF: Okay, see you soon. Hopefully this won't be our last message through this thing.
Moi: I hope so, too. Let me know when you arrive. I'll be wearing a dark blue jumpsuit, just so you know.
Dr. SF: Okay, I'm here. I'm wearing my elephant onesie.
Moi: Oh, I see you! Are you the one with the pink star glasses and some weird gun like thing in your hand?
Dr. SF: Yep, unless someone's dressed exactly like me...I have silver hair too, if you need confirmation.
Moi: Oh, that's you! I was looking at the popcorn man. Oops.
Moi: Come to the back. I'm waving my arm. It has paint on it. Do you see me?
Dr. SF: Yes, I see it...but that doesn't look like paint, it looks more like blood...
Moi: that is why I am in an insane asylum, duh.
Moi: I mean...um...JUST COME PLEASE.
Dr. SF: OKAY I'm right behind you...don't go all yandere on me...
Moi: I'll try.
Moi: Oh, by the way, I think the cabbage juice is starting to wear off on this thing. It's turning pink.
Dr. SF: You mean the device? Did the juice turn it green?
Moi: It was green at first. Then pink. And now it's purple...
Dr. SF: That's interesting...
Moi: Yeah...omg, hurry, I need to pee!
Dr. SF: I just told you I'm right behind you! Just give me the device so you can go pee and get into the asylum.
Dr. SF: Can you not hear the furious tapping?!
Moi: I hear it now.
Moi: I'm handing you the device now...don't drop it or squeeze it...it might disintegrate if you do.
Dr. SF: I'll be careful and guard it with my life.
Moi: Okay...now I'm gonna go pee! Good luck with Russia!
Dr. SF: Okay. If I'm luck, I can keep this a secret from Putin.
Dr. SF: Until they release you from the asylum.
AnonYMousuSer8818: I got a phone and—wHat?!!