Through it All

Chapter 25

Cheyenne POV
The sun light is peeking in through the curtains and I know today is going to be a long day. It is the first day of the rest of my life. A life I never wanted. I never thought that I would lose the love of my life so young. I know we aren't promised tomorrow but I really thought that we would retire and travel together. I thought Robert would be with me to watch Ace graduate high school and take him  to college, to watch Sierra graduate college and Ellie be there to walk her down the aisle on her wedding day. All these moments I have to experience alone now. I can't live in our house, if I did the black hole of depression would overtake me. I can't go there I have my children who depend on me to be there and present in their lives. Everyone leaves today going back to their lives. The kids and I have been so blessed with the support they have given. I knew that B was a good man and a good friend but I have found out exactly how good of a friend. He has been my rock through all of this, I never thought when I met him 2 years ago that we would end up considering each other family. He dropped everything when I called and said I needed him, not many would do that for just a friend. I only hope that someday I will be able to be there for him like he has been there for me. Like him if he called and said I need you I would drop everything and head to him. He really is my best friend. I need to get up and get around it is move in day in the new house and I want to eat breakfast with the boys before they leave. Ace left me a note that he is in the gym and would meet me for breakfast before going to the house. I'm not sure where the journey goes from here. I only know that I have to keep moving forward even though all I want to do is curl up in a bed and cry and forget about the rest of the world. I get a shower and dry my hair, put a little makeup on and then grab a pair of leggings and my favorite big tshirt (Kenny Chesney that Ellie and Claire got for me at his concert) I grab my bag and keys to take to the car before heading to breakfast. I take one more look around making sure I have everything and looking one last time at the place that has been my refuge this week. I look down at my hands and my gaze falls on my wedding set and engagement ring. As I sit down on the bed I realize that I am no longer married, I slip my rings off and put them in my purse. I will save them for my kids. It's then that I realize that I have started crying. I get up, look in the mirror and square my shoulders and say out loud, you can do this one step at a time. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ! I put on a smile and close the door on that life. I step out of the room and I am met with Kolby . He just grins at me and takes my bag out of my hands. I shake my head. Kolby looks at me and said are you heading to breakfast and I told him I was but was going to put my bags in my car first. He told me to give him my keys and he would do it for me cause BG had his panties in a wad this morning and he needed a few extra minutes. I just laughed and told Kolbs that I wouldn't tell B that he said that about him cause I wanted him to live and not go back home with a busted lip or black eye. By this time we had made it to the lobby and Kolby took my bags while I went to the desk to settle up my bill but I found out that it had already been paid. B is going to get it, he can't pay for everything I need for the rest of my life. I know that he promised Robert but I have to stand on my own two feet. I turn to go to the restaurant and run intoBen. Ben looks at me and asks if he can talk to me for a minute. I shake my head and he leads me to down the hallway to a couch and sits down. Ben looks at me and says I know that we don't really know what you are feeling and if we all do something it's because we care and just want to make things easier for you. I look at him and he said "well I know that you think BG paid your bill but he didn't, the band went together and did it. We were talking and wanted to do something special for you and that was what we came up with. I also want you to know that you can call any of us at any time you need to and we will be there. You have always made us feel as important to you as BG. You never made us feel less than him you treated us all the same, like family and that is the way we see you. I know that you overhead at some point what we have said and I want to apologize for that too. So please take this gift and know that we did it because we love you."
"Ben I love you guys too, I'm not mad about the comments y'all have made. It's flattering and was good for my ego when I was having a bad day. Just like I shouldn't have made the comment to BG about y'all either. It's just joking and kidding around and I know that. I thank you all for paying my bill and I was upset because I thought it was B who did it. I know that something is going on with him and Amber and I don't want this to cause him any grief. So with all that being said Thank you from the bottom of my butt cause it's bigger than my heart" When I said that Ben just belly rolled with laughter and hugged me. Ben said, "since we have that cleared up lets go eat before that bunch eats it all" We stand and he puts his arm on my shoulder and I put mine around his waist. As we enter the dining area everyone is there and they look up and say good morning. I look up at Ben and tell him" what they say is right age before beauty" That got me a lot of comments and laughs. We order and start talking about what is on everyone's schedule for the next month what are big days for Ace in baseball and track. They are gonna try and make a playoff series and a his state track meet. We are gonna make the closest tour date in June and plan to try and meet up around Memorial Day for a get together before the tour starts. As we have all learned this week things we plan don't always turn out like we think.