Through it All

Chapter 36

Cheyenne POV

As I sit in the car with BG in the passenger seat I know we need to talk about what all has happened today but at the same time where do we start? I do love B and I feel safe and home when he holds me but he's not divorced yet and Robert has been gone a little over a month. I feel guilty for having these feelings and I'm not even sure B feels the same way. Today was hard but these games will be even harder. I don't want to screw everything up with B. I'm not good for him I cannot give him what he wants and that is a family.

BG POV

We are sitting in the car and I want to talk to Cheyenne but I'm not sure where to start. I told Sierra that I loved Cheyenne and I do. I just don't want to push her or make things uncomfortable for us. I cannot lose her, she's become such a big part of my life. But I remember what Sierra said that we aren't promised tomorrow. So here goes nothing. "Cheyenne can we talk darlin?" She turns and said "yeah might as well" I look and see fear and doubt in her eyes and that kills me. "First off I want to say that no matter what is said I don't want to lose you or our friendship. Can we agree to that before we go any further?" Cheyenne nods her head and says" B I can't lose you it would kill me so yeah we can say whatever and promise that we will still be us"
"Okay darlin agreed. I know that you and I both feel like we have entered the twilight zone today but I also know that I love you. I'm not sure what you are feeling and honestly I'm not sure what I'm feeling. You know that I'm not divorced yet and we just lost Robert a little over a month ago so we both have had a lot to deal with in a short time. What are your thoughts?"
"Well B you know that I love you. And I do feel like I'm in the twilight zone. And yes we both have been through a lot this last month. So I'm not sure how I feel.  I know that seeing you today made me feel like everything was going to be alright. I also felt jealous and territorial when I went off on that lady even though I had no right to be. And honestly when you held me today I felt like I was home that all was right in my world and that scares me.  I can't lose you."

"Darlin if I'm being honest I was jealous when I walked up and saw you hugging Jake and smiling. I wanted to hurt him. I also loved the fact that you came running into my arms just smiling. And yes it felt like home and all was right in my world too. Then when you went off on that fan for being overzealous it was like yeah that's my girl. I was so proud. So what do you think , do you want to see where this goes just stay friends or what?"

"B  how about we see where it goes? Just let it ride and see what developes. Not define anything just yet since you are technically  still married. But promise me that if you find someone else that you will let me know. I can't handle knowing that you aren't happy.

"Chey I would love to see where this goes baby but if we do then I want it to be exclusive. I don't want us seeing anyone else that way we give this a fair shot.  We don't have to tell anyone right now if you don't want to but I want to do this right. Is that okay with you?"

"B are you sure? You will have the chance to meet all kinds of girls on your tour and I don't want to hold you back. I can't give you a family of your own and I feel like you are being cheated. "

"Baby lets not worry about that now. Let's just take this moment by moment, day by day and see what happens. I know you can't give me children but I also know that there are a lot of kids that need a good home. So let's not worry about that now. "

"Really B using your own song lyrics? How cheesy! "

And for the first time since we started talking I see her eyes sparkle and she laughs and I just couldn't stop myself so I leaned in and kissed her. When my lips touched hers it was heaven. I was home or that was what it felt like. And I knew this was what I wanted more than anything. She pulled back and smiled and my breath caught. I promised myself then that I wouldn't mess this up I wouldn't hurt her.

Cheyenne POV

As we talked I felt a peace and butterflies in my stomach.