Welcome to my mind.. Please fasten your seat belt and keep your arms and legs in at all times.. Don't feed the animals.. Do not drink from the water or talk to the voices.. Enjoy the ride!
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Shit, I'm sorry.. I didn't realize that you're an expert on my life and how I should live it.. Please, continue while I take notes!
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When I'm feeling down and some shithead tells me to "Suck it up" - I get the urge to break their legs with a Baseball Bat and tell 'em to "Walk it off!"
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I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid.. I really thought you already knew!
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When you ask me what I'm doing today and I say "Nothing"
It does not mean I'm free.. It means I'm doing Nothing!
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Did you know there's an app on your phone that makes you look ugly? It's called......"Camera"
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Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you they get upset! Who knew?
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Damn computer keeps saying I have mail.. I've walked out to the mailbox 10 times today and there's nothing there!
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Some people should be very thankful that I can control the crazy!
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I'm sorry I upset you. I'll try not to be right next time!
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Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Blink - Monday..
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Autocorrect makes me say things I didn't Nintendo!
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Please be patient.. Even a toilet can only handle one asshole at a time!
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Yes, I walked away mid-conversation.. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in!
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Hey sexy! Shut the door, drop ya pants, climb on top of me, and satisfy your needs.. Love always, your toilet!
* * *
My goal this weekend is to move only enough so people know I'm not dead!
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YOU ARE READING
Adults Only Revisited
HumorDo you get offended easily? Does reading things about sex make you feel dirty? Do swear words horrify your soul? Are you so nice that you are afraid to hate ever? If so, it sux to be you! You're pathetic... Go away! Your presence is not welcome here...
