Real Estate Ads Translated
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1) Ready to move in: The interior has been painted with one coat of cheap paint.
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2) Motivated sellers: Bank is about to foreclose.
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3) Close to public transport: Backs onto a railway line.
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4) Close to all amenities: The backyard is a shopping mall parking lot.
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5) Retirement special: A good home to die in.
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6) Pet friendly neighborhood: Dog shit constantly deposited on the front lawn.
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7) Low maintenance property: No yard, the kids will have to play in the street.
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8) Close to school: close to vandals.
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9) Outstanding property: Sticks out like a sore thumb.
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10) One-Of-A-Kind: Ugly as sin.
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11) Above ground pool: A piece of leaky plastic filled with water.
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12) Unique City Home: Used to be a warehouse.
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13) Mint: Someone spilled mouthwash on the carpet.
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14) One car garage: You can drive your car into the garage but there is no room to open the doors.
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15) Picturesque setting: Abandoned cars and waist-high weeds in neighboring yards.
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16) Enormous potential: Enormous amount of work to do.
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17) Desirable neighborhood: This little house is extravagantly overpriced because the neighborhood has a snobbish reputation.
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18) Wide-open floor plan: Previous owner removed supporting walls.
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19) Territorial view: Good view of your neighbor's bedroom window.
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20) Delightful cottage: Garden is overgrown.
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21) Beautifully presented: The lawn has been mowed.
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22) Magnificent aspects: On a hill.
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23) Cozy: Not a single room could fit a full size bed.
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