Adults Only Revisited

~PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT~

  

Are you sick and tired of being labeled as a slut, a skank, and or a whore? Are you tired of guys who pretend to listen to you just so they can sleep with you? After you give in and open your "holy of hollies," don't you wish he would treat you with respect, like a lady? Are you just sick and tired of assholes? Worse yet, are you tired of reading at a fifth grade level? Are you sick of asking a friend, "What does that mean?" every time you hear a multi-syllable word?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, the following
3 step solution will completely change your life!!!

Step 1) Put down the guys penis!

Step 2) Turn off the trashy reality TV!!

Step 3) Pick up a FUCKING BOOK!!!

You will be amazed at the changes that take place in your life. The benefits of reading BOOKS include but are not limited to..

The ability to know the difference between common words like "Their, There, and They're." To know the meaning to words such as promiscuous and trollop. The ability to follow conversations unrelated to "Celebrities, Gossip, Hair, and Makeup."

Better yet, the ability to follow conversations at all?
The capacity to pick up on not-so-subtle sarcasm directed at you by potential mates -

(e.g. When a guy more concisely repeats that dumb thing you just said, except in that sarcastic tone he always seems to use. And in an attempt to figure out why? All you can hear are birds chirping in your head.)

The proverbial glass ceiling of the corporate world may be lifted, or at least raised a notch or two, so you can get up off your knees and start doing some actual work.

Sound too good to be true?
Fat chicks are doing it worldwide, and you can too. Visit your local library or go to a book store. Shit, you could even learn to download some e-books. Hell, you might even find it more enriching than oral sex. The possibilities are endless.

No promises though - I didn't say it would buy you a new purse or handbag, and it most certainly won't tell you that you're beautiful. If artificially bypassing your insecurities is your prerogative, you best stick with giving men fellatio. It will result in smiles across the faces of crass men everywhere. Otherwise, make your father proud. Buy a BOOK.. It's up to you!!

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