~ Quickies ~

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I used to be indecisive - Now I'm not so sure?

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I used to be schizophrenic - But we're alright now!

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It's sad how whole families can be torn apart by simple things - Like a pack of wild dogs!

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Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it!

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One goldfish says to the other goldfish - "If there's no God, who the fuck changes our water every week?"

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I'd like to leave this world the same way I came into it - Naked, Screaming and covered in someone else's blood!

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Energizer Bunny Arrested - Charged with battery!

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Some people are only alive
because it is illegal to shoot them!

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Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm!

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I've failed Math so many times I can't even begin to count!

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I intend to live forever - so far, so good!

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Out of my mind - Back in five minutes!

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Teacher: Now kids, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is Seven plus Two?
Kids: At once!

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Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut!

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I am not a vegetarian because I love animals - I am a vegetarian because I hate plants!

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