Dear Santa.. I've been good all year! Okay, most of the time.. Once in a while.. Never mind, I'll buy my own stuff!
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I hate you, then I love you.. It's like I want to throw you off a cliff then rush to the bottom to catch you!
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Everyone appreciates your honesty, until the time your honest with them.. Then you're an asshole!
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I hate it when I gain a few kilograms for a role and then remember I'm not even an actor!
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(Sleeping in) could easily be my superpower, if not for my Arch-nemesis (Having to pee!)
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I'm glad I don't have to hunt for my food.. I don't even know where Hamburgers live!
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Most of the time when you're sad.. Nobody notices your tears! Most of the time when you're hurting.. Nobody notices your pain! Most of the time when you're happy.. Nobody notices your smile! But when you Fart just one time..!!!
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I told my psychiatrist that I'm hearing voices.. He said, you don't have a psychiatrist!
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I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible.. But pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell!
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Good morning.. I see the assassins have failed!
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My math book needs to commit suicide.. It has way too many problems!
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I wish my eyes could take pictures!
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Of course women don't work as hard as men.. They get it right the first time!
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That mini heart attack when you can't feel your phone in your pocket!
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Your mind needs exercise just as your body does.. That's why I think of jogging every day!
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YOU ARE READING
Adults Only Revisited
MizahDo you get offended easily? Does reading things about sex make you feel dirty? Do swear words horrify your soul? Are you so nice that you are afraid to hate ever? If so, it sux to be you! You're pathetic... Go away! Your presence is not welcome here...
