You know when you put a stick in the water and it looks like it's bent but really isn't? That's why I don't take baths!
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No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his!
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I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world - because they'd never expect it!
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I always drink a cocktail of Scotch and Carrot juice. I'm always drunk but I can see for miles!
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Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The person looks out of it, and if they lean out too far, they fall out.. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window!
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90% of all Wisdom is the ability to mind your own business!
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Always and Never are two words you should always remember never to use!
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We do not know what to do with this short life, yet we yearn for another that will be eternal!
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The God of the Christians is a Father who is way more concerned about his apples than he is about his children!
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A work of art is useless. So is a peacock!
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Adults Only Revisited
HumorDo you get offended easily? Does reading things about sex make you feel dirty? Do swear words horrify your soul? Are you so nice that you are afraid to hate ever? If so, it sux to be you! You're pathetic... Go away! Your presence is not welcome here...
