Never piss off the person who cooks you your dinner!
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Do you ever write a really long message and about halfway through you're like.. "You know what, they don't even care" and delete it?
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I'm not lazy.. I'm just on my energy saving mode!
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When it comes to coffee.. "I like big mugs I can not lie"
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Being polite is so rare these days.. It's often confused with flirting!
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Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever the fuck you were going to do anyway!
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Once you hate someone, everything they do is annoying.. "Look at that bitch sitting there breathing like she owns the place!"
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No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once!
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I don't get why people find receiving a drunk text annoying.. You are the person they are thinking of when their brain can't even function properly!
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3am phone call.. "Hey, are you asleep?" -
"Nahhh.. I'm skydiving!"
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I have PMS & GPS.. I am a bitch and I will find you!
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Writing lol, lmao, or even bahahaha.. And knowing damn well you're sitting there with less expression than a brick!
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I'm always putting things where they don't belong.. Like my cornflakes in the fridge, or my keys in the laundry, or my faith in other people!
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That annoying moment when you finally get comfortable in bed and all of a sudden BAM.. Have to pee!
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I'm the type of person who tries to fall back to sleep in the morning.. Just to finish a dream!
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YOU ARE READING
Adults Only Revisited
ЮморDo you get offended easily? Does reading things about sex make you feel dirty? Do swear words horrify your soul? Are you so nice that you are afraid to hate ever? If so, it sux to be you! You're pathetic... Go away! Your presence is not welcome here...
