~Life~

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I love you with all my butt.. I would say heart, but my butt is bigger!

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I could, lose weight, but I hate losing!

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I wake up in a good mood every single morning.. Then idiots happen!

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Someone called me lazy today.. I almost replied!

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Everything I like is either illegal, fattening, expensive or impossible!

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My phones low battery warning is the only warning I take seriously!

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I have a condition that prevents me from dieting.. It's called "being fuckin hungry!"

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I don't mind going to work.. It's the 8 hour wait to go home that I think is bullshit!

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I'm always forced to do things that I'm not qualified for.. Like being nice to stupid people!

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Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm and inappropriateness!

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Askhole: A person who constantly asks for your advice, but always does the opposite of what you tell them!

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