1) Square box, round pizza, triangle slices.. I'm confused!
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2) Some people are such treasures - That you want to bury them!
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3) Everybody wants to go to Heaven - But nobody wants to die!
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4) Dieting rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it - It doesn't contain any calories!
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5) Face your problems.. Don't Facebook them!
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6) Of course I talk to myself.. Sometimes I need expert advice!
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7) I'm 97% sure you don't like me.. But I'm 100% sure I don't care!
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8) I won't be impressed with technology... Until I can download food!
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9) Common sense is like deodorant.. The people who need it the most never use it!
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10) If we're not meant to have midnight snacks.. Why is there a light in the fridge?
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11) When I was single I had one pillow.. Now we have 22! Why do we have 22 fuckin pillows? My girlfriend said for decoration - I'm thinking.. For who??
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12) My girlfriend, she bought some decorative towels that I apparently can't dry myself with... Why God. Why???
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13) Things I'm bad at: (singing)
Things I do a lot: (singing)
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14) Pretending to be nice all day is exhausting!
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15) There are two types of people in this world:
1) People who understand and appreciate sarcasm!
2) And Idiots!
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16) I use to think you took my breath away.. But then I realized I was just suffocated by your bullshit!
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YOU ARE READING
Adults Only Revisited
HumorDo you get offended easily? Does reading things about sex make you feel dirty? Do swear words horrify your soul? Are you so nice that you are afraid to hate ever? If so, it sux to be you! You're pathetic... Go away! Your presence is not welcome here...
