Stupid Real News Headlines

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1) Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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2) Man Eats Underwear To Beat Breathalyzer

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3) Stabbing Disrupts Class For Anger Management

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4) Drunk Driver Claims Dog Was Driving

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5) Pigs Die As Houses are Blown Down

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6) Murderer Says Detective Ruined His Reputation

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7) City Unsure Why The Sewer Smells

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8) Most Earthquake Damage Is Caused By Shaking

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9) Weight Watchers Demonstrator Shoplifts Cupcakes

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10) One-Armed Man Applauds The Kindness of Strangers

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11) Guy Kidnaps Ex-Girlfriend To Get Ironing Done

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12) Winners Of Drink Driving Contest Announced

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13) Authorities Pursue Man Running With Scissors

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14) Cows Lose Their Jobs As Milk Prices Drop

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15) Homeless Man Under House Arrest

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16) Miners Refuse to Work after Death

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17) Three Ambulances Take Blast Victim To Hospital

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18) Author Of Book On How To Avoid Taxes On Trial For Tax Evasion

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