Adults Only Revisited

Redneck Part 1

You Might Be A Redneck If...

1) You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.

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2) You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

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3) You take your trash to the dump and you return home with more stuff than you left with.

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4) You've painted a car with house paint.

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5) Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people"

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6) People come to your house to ask if they can hunt on your front lawn.

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7) You sit up all night with a sick dog, but make your wife stay up with a sick kid.

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8) You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by.

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9) You've been too drunk to fish.

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10) The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just the men.

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11) You own at least 20 baseball caps.

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12 You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.

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13) You can't get married to your sweetheart cause there is a law against it.

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14) Your beer-can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.

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15) There are four or more cars up on blocks in your front yard.

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16) Your brother-in-law is your uncle.

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17) Your two year old has more teeth than you do.

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18) You kill dinner two or more times a week.

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19) Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes (if you have them) a jacket and grabbing a flashlight

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20) People hear your car coming a long time before they see it.

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21) You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

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22) Anyone in your family wrestles alligators for a living.

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23) You look upon a family reunion as a chance to meet 'Ms. Right'

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24) Your mother comes outa the bathroom and says "Y'all come look at this before I flush it.

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25) Your mother calls you over to help, cause she has a flat tyre... On her house.

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26) Your sister's education goal is to get out of high school before she gets pregnant.

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27) Someone asks, "where's your bowling bag?" and you answer, "she's at home with the kids.

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28) You've been on TV more than five times describing what the tornado sounded like.

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29) You ever have put oil or anti-freeze in your truck in a K-mart parking lot.

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30) Your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

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