Sebastian Stan Imagines #wattys2017

°o. Tears ~ Bucky Barnes .o°

Post- Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes ~ Marvel Cinematic Universe

Prompt:
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, I JUST STARTED WRITING BECAUSE SCHOOL IS STRESSING ME FOR NO REASON.

*•*•*•

Bucky and Your Apartment
3am

You throw you let out a sigh as you drop your duffle bag on the kitchen table. It was a hard mission. You and Natasha had to go undercover to investigate the suspected new leader of an upcoming organization. It was going fine till you found out the guy was a high ranking Hydra Agent who had a pack of goons ambush you and tie you up to a chair.

What was even worse is that you expected them to torture you with knives and wounds but the only thing you have is a busted lip from a punch in the face and your heart utterly broken.

The guy who captured you was one of the agents who worked with the Winter Soldier when they had him work with others. He told you all the things Hydra did to Bucky. No, not just the brainwashing, cryofreeze, and torture they endured him but the stuff that kept him the Winter Soldier. The trigger words, the little things they gave him, what he was like after the missions, and, worse of all, the part where he started to remember stuff.

No, not when Pierce sent him to take out Steve, but all the other times. He said that Bucky always had to be brainwash every week because he would recall some from the before the war. The agent said over the years the brainwashing would only occur when the Winter Soldier got out of cryo.

And when you started crying in front of the twat he started saying that Hydra would hunt down Bucky and make sure it would happen again. Which only caused you to try even more and make him threaten even more, saying that Bucky would never be able to recover from the Winter Soldier until threw a smoke bomb into the room and untied you.

The only hard thing about the mission to Natasha was seeing you beat the man to death. You were never one to kill someone unless it was the absolute last resort, you left that to your partner in crime, Black Widow.

The events of today comes pounding back into your brain when you plop down on the couch with tears in your eyes, not even seeing the sleeping ex-assassin there.

"Doll?" He mumbles as he wakes up, you don't hear him as you curl up in a ball and start crying into your knees. "(Y/N)?" He sets a hand on your back and shakes you slightly.

"Oh." You sniffle, wiping away the tears. "Sorry, I didn't see you there, Buck." You apologize as you unravel from your ball.

"It's fine." He shrugs it off with a yawn. "Come m'ere, I missed you." He opens his arms out, waving you to come over. You gladly accept his invite and crawl into his chest. He resituates so that you both are laying on your sides with your face nuzzled in his chest while he has his hands around you and his chin rested on top of your head.

"You smell good." Bucky comments as he breathes in, taking the shampoo you keep at the tower in case you have a bunch of gunk on your body after a mission. Your only response is holding back a sob, not being able to forget what happened on the mission. 

"How was the mission?" He asks, trying to make conversation even though he doesn't mind the silence.

You open your mouth to say 'fine' but that is all it takes for the damn to break. The tears stream down your face and you latch onto Bucky's sweater. He knows you're in no state to talk so he just runs his fingers through your hair and plants a kiss to your temple, knowing how to calm you down.

*•*•*•

"Thank you, Bucky." You say after you calm down so you can speak.

"No problem, doll." He whispers as you pull back a bit to look up at him.

"It's just... the mission." You sigh.

"That's what I assumed when you started sobbing at the mention of it." He tries the lighten the mood with a joke, you crack a smile at him but it quickly turns back into a frown.

"I killed him, Buck." You confess, tears forming again. "I killed him!"

"You killed who?" He questions.

"The guy me and Nat were tailing, he was Hydra and I killed him!" You sit up.

"Calm down, (Y/N)." Bucky soothes, you take a couple deep breaths. "Why'd you kill him?"

"He captured me and he was one of Hydra's top agents and he was threatening you and saying that you would never recover and--"

"You don't need to continue, I understand." He assures while setting a hand on your shoulder. "Out of all people, I understand how it feels to have that blood on your hands even if you didn't mean to. The difference between what you did and what I did is, you killed a bad guy, I killed inoc--"

"Don't even finish that sentence, James." You scold. "The Winter Soldier killed those people not you." He sighs and looks down at his lap. "I'm very sad that I killed him but I'm mostly messed up from what he said. So, can you please just cuddle me in silence?" Your voice starts to quiver as you start crying towards the end of the sentence.

"Abosultely." His voice breaks slightly also as he pulls you back into his chest.