Drive-Thru

Natalia's Misa de Gallo

The cold December wind was the main reason Natalia loved the Christmas season.

Hinawakan niya nang mahigpit ang bakal na tungkod at mahinahon na naglakad patungo sa maliit na kapilya sa kanilang barangay. Inalalayan siya ng isang magkasintahan. "Salamat," mahina niyang sinabi at ngumiti.

She sat near the aisle and folded her cane. Katabi niya sa mahabang upuan ang isang pamilya kasama ang tatlong anak nito na halatang bagong gising.

The small chapel was dazzling, thanks to the mothers who put their efforts in decorating the place. Each pillar has a Christmas wreath and small cut outs of Christmas socks, tree, and balls. Next to the altar was the belen, decorated with Christmas lights. Each statue of saints were accompanied by Christmas decors. Even the edges of their seats were decorated as well.

If only Ricardo was here...

"Aling Natalia!" she heard someone called. Lumingon siya at sinalubong ng kaniyang kaibigan na si Dina. "Kumusta na ho kayo?"

"Heto, ayos lang naman kahit na bumibigay na ang mga buto." Tumawa siya nang kaunti. Nagmano ito. Sumunod ang mga anak nito. "Ang lalaki na pala ng mga anak mo. Parang kailan lang, karga ko pa itong bunso mo."

"Oo nga po e. Naalala ko pa noon na paborito siya ni Mang Ricardo." Her smile was a bit sad.

Natalia returned a beaming smile, instead. "Sa Pasko, papadalhan ko kayo ng Leche Flan."

"Talaga ho?" nagagalak na sinabi ng bunso ni Dina. "Yehey!"

"Nako, maraming salamat po. Papadalhan ko rin kayo ng buko pie. Mag-uuwi ho ang asawa ko galing Los Baños."

They bid their farewells and the family went back to their seats. The praying of the Holy Rosary started and she began reciting her prayers. Ever since that day years ago, she had one wish after she completed the nine days of Misa De Gallo.

The procession started right after the praying of the Holy Rosary started. The couple sitting with her assisted her while she was standing up, but she politely declined.

The mass went by. Before she knew it, the priest walked to the aisle and started his Homily.

"Magandang umaga ho sa inyong lahat," pagsisimula ng pari. "May tanong muna ako sa inyo: napangakuan na ba kayo?"

"Oo, sa mga utang!" The crowd laughed when a mother shouted that.

"Hindo ho 'yun." The priest smiled and continued. "Kayo ho ba, anong pangako sa inyo ng asawa niyo noong ikasal kayo?" he asked a mother to his left.

The mother, shocked, was too stunned to answer.

"Ikaw, ineng, anong pangako sa iyo ng nobyo mo?" As soon as the priest asked that, the girl removed her hand from the boy's. They lowered their heads to cover their embarrassment.

"Wala namang sumasagot sa 'kin. Tayo-tayo lang naman ho rito."" The priest turned to her direction and asked, "'Nay, kayo ho?"

Natalia was up to the challenge.

"Pangako sa 'kin ng asawa ko, na magsasama kami sa hirap at ginhawa. Ngunit wala na siya, matagal na." She tried to stay strong, but her voice cracked when she said her last words. But in the end, she returned a beaming smile.

"Condolence ho," the priest answered. He continued to his Homily.

She didn't expect that the hurt will come back. She didn't expect that when she answered, all of it came back like it was yesterday when Ricardo left her.

She clung on to her seat.

Ricardo and Natalia loved Christmas the most, especially when they were accompanied by their five children. She used to fill the entire table various dishes that her children requested. Ricardo, on the other hand, took charge on giving the gifts.

Nang matapos kumain ang kanilang mga anak at pinatulog, palagi silang tabing nakaupo sa sofa at hawak ni Ricardo ang kaniyang kamay. Tahimik lang nilang pinagmamasdan ang kanilang mga anak na matulog.

Ever since they were a couple, they would always finish the nine days of Misa De Gallo. Before they got married, Ricardo was usually waiting in front of the church at the nearest town near the entrance. Natalia, accompanied by her mother, always felt her heart trying to get out of her system everytime she saw Ricardo waiting outside of the church.

Of course, she wouldn't miss the chance of holding his hand when Our Father started playing.

When they got married, it still went on. He woke her up and wait for her to finish. They would enjoy walking and feeling the cold, December wind. Natalia would cook simple meals to the children while Ricardo was preparing to his work.

Such simple acts would make her giggle, even now. Because she knew that love for her was that kind.

That kind of love that wasn't boasting but roars. It doesn't need flairs and gorgeous moments. She appreciated the fact that there's always someone there, waiting for her.

Time went by so fast that she didn't notice her five children growing up. Ricardo retired to his work after their first three children finished college and their firstborn had a stable job to support the last two on their academics. But still, they were together.

He was there when she started crying after their children separated from them to start their own families. She wished for a Christmas with the five of them and create sumptuous meals for them and their children. She also wanted to take care of her grandchildren, as well.

Ricardo was always there.

But, soon it was his time to leave the world.

"Natalia..." she held his hand tightly when he spoke. They were quietly lying on their bed. "Naalala mo ba nung mga panahong..." he coughed.

"Shh. Magpahinga ka na muna. May bukas pa, Rick." She flashed her gentle smile to him. "Pupunta rito ang mga anak natin."

"Hindi ko na ata kakayanin," he said weakly.

She resisted hard enough to keep her tears from flowing.

"Nat, hindi ko matutupad ang pangako ko sa 'yo."  He started crying. She hugged him tightly from his position. "Patawad, Nat, sa mga pagkakataong hindi ako naging mabuting asawa sa 'yo. Patawad sa mga panahong..." he stopped midway. "...mga panahong nag-aaway tayo. "

"Rick, matagal na 'yon. Ang mahalaga ay nandyan ka. Nandito ka palagi sa tabi ko, at iyon ang mas pinahahalagahan ko."

"Pero, oras ko na." He tried to smile. "At, wala na ako sa tabi mo."

"Kakayanin ko." She needed to be strong, even though deep in her mind that she can't.

"Mahal kita. Kahit na matanda na tayo, sana matandaan mo iyan hanggang sa huli."

She wiped her tears. She didn't notice that it was already flowing. She put his hand next to her heart. She fixed her position to the bed.

"Matutulog na muna ako," were his last words before falling to his long sleep.

It was four years ago but Natalia kept on hearing his last words before going to sleep.

She knew it wasn't her time yet. But for the last four years, she kept on praying and wishing that Ricardo was doing well with God.

She believed that Ricardo was up there, waiting for her.

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Dapat nung Christmas 'to, but naiwan ko palang naka-draft at hindi ko na-publish. Oh well. Merry Christmas, everyone!