Dark Serenity - Carl Grimes

Chapter Sixty-One

Ocean Eyes - Billie Eilish (Blackbear remix)
Hey Jude - The Beatles
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds - The Beatles (Across The Universe Cover)

~*~

*Greyson's P.O.V.*

I twirl the locket Carl had given me the day he asked me to be his girlfriend between my fingers, admiring its beauty. My eyes droop, knowing I haven't spoken to Carl properly in a couple weeks.

Last night he had cradled me to slumber due to my nightmare. That's the most I've spoken to him since I saw him kiss Enid.

I wince at the memory of his lips slowly colliding with hers. I can still see the passion in his eyes as he did it, I can still feel my heart drop to my toes.

If he hurt me so much, why do I want more than anything for him to be in this room with me?

I sigh, setting the locket down on my bedside table and pressing myself off of my bed. My legs seem to take complete control as they head straight for the door, my mind only repeating "Carl" over and over again.

I stop myself right before opening the door, my hand still hovering the handle. No, I can't just walk into his room. That's crazy, possessive even.

I gently back away from the door, feeling my shoulders relax as I do. Not because I didn't want to just burst through the door and greet Carl with a kiss and endlessly hold him. But, I can't.

He hurt me, he practically ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I can't cave in, I can't give in to temptation.

No matter how much I want to.

But, what if-

I tug at my hair, thinking of every scenario known to man that would change the outcome. Something, anything that would justify his lips touching another's.

Maybe he just didn't love you.

No, no Carl loved me. I know he did. The way he looked at me was unmissable. He went out and almost got killed for me, he devoted his whole time to finding me instead of someone he had known for god knows how long. He loves me, or did.

I need to see him, hear him out, try to forgive him. I can't live like this. I'm in love with Carl, I can't just watch us waste away our lives. Just this once I'll do the thing that might possibly kill me.

I march to the door again, this time my legs and brain were on the same page. I could feel my heart begin to jump out of my chest with every step towards the door. I was finally doing something for me. Something I want. And it felt fucking amazing.

My hand gripped the handle, feeling more determined than I've ever been. With one swift turn, the door in front of me was now swung open, only to be greeted with a familiar face.

-

*Carl's P.O.V.*

You need to.

But what if she doesn't want to talk? We were together just last night. She could've talked then.

You can't live like this.

What if Collin's in there?

My body trembled at the thought. Collin sitting in there, comforting her, that's my job. I'm her boyfriend.

I was her boyfriend.

I wince at the thought of being her ex. It felt as if a thousand elephants just trampled my heart. I don't want to be her ex, I want to be everything that makes her happy. Even if that only means I'm her friend.