Dark Serenity - Carl Grimes

•Chapter Thirty-Three•

Playlist// Sinking Man - Of Monsters and Men
The Good In Me - Jon Bellion

~*~

*Carl's P.O.V.*

I woke up once again, this time in the presence of my father. Not just his body laying on the couch, limp. He was leaning against the wall, watching as I sat up straight to make eye contact with him.

He coughs and limps over to me. Using the couch as his help, he sits down next to me, leaning against the couch for support.

"I'm sorry." He wheezes out, his breath getting heavier after.

"I know." I say, playing with the badge on my hat as it lays on the ground.

"No, not for just yesterday. Everything. Not letting you grow up, when you needed to. Not spending more time with you. Treating you like a kid." I avoid every opportunity I have to make eye contact with my dad. I felt like I was being scolded, when I was being praised.

"You're a man, Carl." My dad says, forcing me to look at him with his words. "I wish you didn't have to grow up that fast, that's why I was holding you back. I wanted you to have a childhood worth living."

"I knew you liked Greyson the moment she came into our safety." My stomach dropped at the viable noise of someone actually saying her name, refreshing my memory that I didn't make her up. "I didn't want you liking her, I didn't want you getting hurt." He swallowed. "This world is a cold, dark, angry place. Things happen, people die. I thought you would want to man up in her presence. Protect her at all costs. Which would eventually get you killed, like it's going to kill me." My dad looked down at his lap, squeezing his eyes shut at certain moments. "I thought that when you grow up, no one could protect you and keep you out of danger. You would have to fend for yourself. I didn't want you to defend yourself, I wanted to protect you and keep you right under my wing." He admitted.

"But now I know that being a child or a grown up isn't any way to distinct people. I can still protect you, and you could still protect Greyson." Grey's face shows up in my mind like a memory, but it wasn't a memory. I visioned her standing behind me, counting on me to protect her. I shoot the Walkers trudging towards us, protecting her just as I should. Once all the corpses are on the ground, incapable of movement, she rewards me. Her lips attach to mine in the most passionate kiss this world has seen. I saved her. I rescued her.

"I love you Carl, and I know you're hurting. There's one thing I want to promise you, that I will keep." He turns his head to fully look at me, then places his hand on my knee. "We will find Greyson." He assures. I look up at him, finding hope in his eyes.

"I believe you."

~*~

*Greyson's P.O.V.*

"I'll take first watch." Daryl insists just as everyone declared it was time for the first sleep.

"No, you need sleep. Let me." I confirm, sliding down the wall to position myself comfortably.

Daryl grumpily gives up, grumbling something about how I need sleep.

When Collin slides down the wall next to me I declare tonight was going to be rough, and long.

Collin was silent until he determined everyone else was asleep.

"Who's Carl?" He asks, his tone unidentifiable.

"Why does that matter?" I ask, keeping my attention forward.

"Just making small talk." He says, looking away from me to look forward like I currently was.

"I'm just saying, if you said my name like that, I'd know exactly how you felt." I stay quiet, it wasn't worth fighting over someone whom he didn't even know. "I've been killing my brain with these theories as to why he came across as so important to you. They all end the same." He swallows as I look over at him.

"You're hurting." He announces. "You're hurting because you don't know where he is. You don't deserve that. You deserve to be happy even in a shit world like this. Some of us-" He stops himself to take a deep breath. "Some of us deserve to live like this. Constantly afraid of our lives being taken from us. But not you. I've known you for a few hours and I can already know that this lifestyle isn't for you. You're one of the good." I was worried of this boys sanity. I get what he was saying, but it was still so hard to comprehend what he meant by it.

His soberness was as filling as my drunkness. He thought constantly of the negative but never of the positive. He doesn't know who I am like he thinks he does. He knows nothing but my name.

"So please, explain to me who Carl is." I cave in. He just poured his thoughts onto the ground in front of us, only to be squished by my silence.

"He's-" I tried to explain him. Every word I came up with didn't seem good enough to describe Carl. "He's light even when the world is dark. He's optimistic about the more negative things. He listens to everything anyone says to him. He puts everyone else's thoughts in front of his." As I described Carl visions of him replaced the emptiness I was feeling. When he laughed at the worst possible times. The way he squints his eyes when he laughs or smiles. He was the genuine idea of perfect. "This world doesn't phase him. He's strong. Stronger than I ever believed was possible. He protects the ones he loves without a second thought." I lay my head against the wall I was leaning on, desperately wishing for Carl to just appear. "He is one of the good." Collin doesn't say or ask anything, meaning he was satisfied I had told him.

We both stay silent, lathering in the information we both had just gotten.

I couldn't help but toy with my brain about leaving him. I left him to get to my sister. I could've brought him with me, could've fought harder to stay with him. Now, to my knowledge, he could be dead or alive.

~*~

WINTER BREAKKKKK!!!!

I'm currently on winter break bam

I'm also currently laying with the cutest puppy ever

His name is Mal-Money

It's actually Mallow but you know

He's my sisters dog and I'm baby sitting him while my sister goES TO DISNEYLAND FOR CHRISTMAS HAHAHAHSHHAGAJAHDKANJEKS :(

I want to go to Disneyland

I had half of my Christmas today because my sister was here and I got a Glenn shirt I just heart eyes

again, self promoting go follow my vine - carlwub - I'll follow everyone back because I need friends

Oh

THANK YOU FOR READING THIS BOOK SO FAR YOU GORGEOUS PERSON

You're beautiful.

Don't be a zombie.

BYE NARWHALSSS!!!