I am not lonely [Mystrade]

CHAPTER 50 : Ich bin ein doof.

NOTA : I do not speak German, meaning that there ight be some mistakes in the spelling and the grammar of the German parts .

Mycroft looked over his book, noticing that his boyfriend who had earlier been occupied with reading the newspaper was now sighting absentmindly at the fireplace, a small pout on his face. The official raised to his feet, putting his novel down on the coffee table and joined the detective, resting on the armrest of the couch where he was sat.
"What's going on love ?" he wondered, wrapping an arm around the other man's shoulders.
"I'm an idiot." answered Greg, still looking at the chimney.
"Why do you say such a silly thing ?" asked the auburn, resisting his natural will to joke over the fact that he found everyone slow because of his own great brain, understanding that the inspector wasn't up at all for a laugh.
"Look at you, able to do all those great thing, speak all those languages, resolving all those crises. Look at John being a brilliant doctor or at your brother able to do my job in less time than I actually need to go on the crime scene and without even leaving his armchair. Even look at your son, he beats me at chess, he plays the piano and already is fluent in two languages when I'm barely capable of speaking my own mother tongue." retorted the policeman in a sigh.
"Oh come on Gregory, there is plenty of things you can doI couldn't even dream of mastering in my best dream ..." his husband tried to comfort him. "I don't know, for example, you are amazing at football !"
"Hardly something that could come touse in my everyday life, isn't it ?" muttered the detective, absolutely not convinced by the elder Holmes's arguments.
"But darling, you are a great cop, one of the best of Scotland Yard !" insisted the auburn, rubbing his hand against the yarder's shoulder.
"Only because your brother follows me like a fucking puppy everywhere I go ..." denied Greg, definitely in a self-hating mood.
"Ok, maybe you aren't as good as me or Sherlock." agreed the official, changing tactic. "But you can improve."
"How, by having a second brain transplanted into my head ?" snorted the detective.
"I bet you a diner at the Criterion that I can help you learn the language of your choice in less than a month." stated Mycroft, holding out his hand to his partner, waiting for him to shake it.
"Alright. German." replied the DI, shaking the hand and throwing his lover a 'Even-you-can't-manage-that' look.
"Well, better get to work right now then !" smiled the elder Holmes,forcing his husband to step up and follow him to his private office by grabbing both of his wrists. "Sit down." he ordered him once they had arrived in the study, gesturing toward one of the armchair in front of his desk.
The official disappeared for a couple of minutes and the inspector does as he was required, even if it was easily readable in his eyes and body language that he didn't believe for a second that learning German in less than a month was an achievable challenge, even with his genius boyfriend as a teacher. Returning with what seems like a box of toffee, Mycroft sat behind the other side of his desk and cross his hands in front of his chin in a very Holmesian gesture.

"Right, from now I will only address you in German. You pick up words, you understand me. You don't pick up, sorry for you but I won't translate." the auburn smile. "For each question you understand and answer, in English for now, you can eat one of this. If you don't answer, I eat one. Simple isn't it ?"
Greg nodded, chuckling slightly, finding the method completely stupid but still decided to prove to the official that the challenge was impossible to fulfil.
"Wie heißen sie ?" requested the elder Holmes, glancing at the toffee box, mentally choosing which of the delicately wrapped sweet he would pick up first.
"That's pointless darling." the detective retorted in a smirk.
"Nein. Der Toffee gehört mir." retorted the other man, happily seizing a sweet and placing it carefully on his tongue, a gesture that the DI couldn't help but finding extremely sexy. "Ich wiederhole meine Frage, wieheißen sie ?".
Starting to find this little game amusing and decided to have a taste at the probably very expensive candies, the policeman racked his brain, trying to guess what kind of questions were frequently asked to someone just starting to learn a new language. After thinking that his husband was maybe saying that he loved him but remembering that it involved something like the word 'dich' or something like that he had a go with the idea that Mycroft was maybe asking him for his age. "50." he tried, unsure of himself.
"Nein." retorted the auburn, seizing a new toffee."Aber es ist schon besser. Wie heißen sie ?".
Frustraded by his new failure and by the alluring way his partner was sucking the sweet, the inspector tried to think bout another frequently ask question before gently hitting his fist against his forehead. "Of course ..." he muttered before looking at the other man right in the eyes. "Gregory."
"Doch !" the elder Holmes smiled before handling the candy box to his lover. "Wie alt sind sie?"
Unwrapping the sweet, the detective tried to analyse the question and remarked that it was grammatically constructed in the same way with the word 'wie' at the beginning of the sentence and 'sie' at the end. Guessing that it might be the words 'what' and 'you', he wondered what could be the meaning of the other words buthe hadn't got a clue. "Lestrade ?" he tried unsuccessfully.
"Nein. Lestrade ist dein Nachname. Wie alt sind sie ?" grinned the official, pocketing a toffee for later, knowing that he already had won his first challenge by catching his lover in the game.
Understanding that 'nachname' was probably meaning 'last name' or something near, the DI made another attempt with his age. "50 ?"
"Ja !" replied Mycroft, winking at him and offering him a sweet. "Was ist deine Arbeit, mein lieber ?"
Deducing once again, Greg tried to translate as much word as he can. "Let's see ... 'Was' might mean 'what' or something near, 'why' maybe ...'meine' ressemble 'mine' and 'lieber' look like this word in the 'I love you' sentence so probably love or something like that so it's not really part of the question ... 'ist' ... maybe something like 'is' or 'isn't' ... but 'deine arbeit' ... I haven't got a clue ..." he muttered to himself, speaking things out making it clearer to him. "What kind of question could possibly emerge from your twisted mind... It's not the age, not the name, not the last name, can't be a nickname, I don't have any and it doesn't look like the word 'name' ...Let's try the job. Detective ?"
"Doch !" the official smiled genuinely, delighted to note that his husband wasn't just making random try but was actually trying to understand, deduce and memorize the words he was hearing. "Gute arbeit ! In welchem land lebst du?"
The inspector grabbed a sweet and deduced once more. "Ok, so 'gute arbeit' is undoubtedly 'good work'. 'In' would be 'in and 'land' is quite clear to, which lets me with 'welchem', 'lebst' and 'du'. If 'arbeit' was work then 'deine' was yours so maybe 'du' would be you or something referring to me. So 'in', 'land' and 'you'. In which land do you live maybe ? England ?"
"Ja ! Absolut !" the auburn exclaimed happily. "In welcher Stadt lebst du ?"
Not even thinking about the candy now and just genuinely excited by the little game, Greg smiled to his partner. "This one is easy love.'In welcher' would be 'in which' and 'lebst du' would be you live' so 'stadt' should be city no ? London ?"
"Nun ja ! Sie wirst esgut, mein lieber !" grinned the auburn. "Wie alt ist dein Sohn?"
"Ok, wait there is a lot of words there ! 'Sie wirst esgut' ... Is that 'you are good' or 'you are becoming good' ?" asked the detective. The elder Holmes nodded. "Then, 'wie' is what or something like that and 'alt' was in the sentence where you ask me my age. 'Ist' mean is, 'dein' is yours and 'sohn' sounds just like son to me which could make a sentence like 'what age is your son ?'. Oh yes, I'm really becoming rather good at this ! Two and a half !"
"Undes ist richtig !" retorted Mycroft, faking to be annoyed. "Wo arbeit est du ?"
"Oh something about work again ..." smirked the detective, recognizing the word 'arbeit'. "So 'und es istrichtig'. Well well well 'und' sounds quite similar to 'and' and 'es ist' is 'it is' so 'richtig' is most certainly meaning 'right'. And the question is about work. My work as there is 'du'. It's not 'what' as I've already answered this one. It can't be 'why', that wouldn't make sense. It could be 'when' but it would be odd so it's probably 'where'. So, where do I work ? In New Scotland Yard, on the Victoria Embankment."
"Verdammt ! Ich kann dich nicht mehr täuschen !" the auburn exclaimed, chuckling.
"Verdammt ... You are not talking dirty are you ? Laughed the policeman. "Ich kann ... Hmm, maybe 'I can', that would make sense. 'Nicht" is like 'ist' and 'nein' together so 'I can't' and not "I can' ... 'Dich' rings no bell to me, so does 'mehr' but 'täuschen' could look like 'taunting'. So 'I can't' and 'taunting' ... 'Dich' could have a link with 'you' then. 'I can't taunt you.'. So maybe 'mehr' means 'anymore' or something like that no ? 'I can't taunt you anymore'?"
"Ja ! Ich bin stolz auf dich, mein lieber ." smiled the official, not even bothering to ask questions anymore.
"Hmm ...'Ich', so that's you." deduced Gregory. "Then 'bin' is like 'be' clearly and 'auf' is just a weird 'of'. 'Dich', that's me, and 'mein lieber' that's me too. So that let us with 'stolz'. Well, well, well. You are 'stolz' of me. That can't be 'in love' because that's what 'lieber' or something like that means. So if you are not in love with me, what can you be ... Would you be proud for example ?"
"Doch! Sie sehen, sie sind kein doof !" laughed the auburn, raising to his feet and getting around the desk to his lover, resting his own head on top of the DI's one.
"That has something to do with me and being an dumb apparently, if that's what 'doof' mean ... 'Sehen' is probably 'seeing' or 'see' and as I've got nearly all my answer right and 'sind' means 'be', 'kein' must mean 'not' isn't it ?"chuckled Greg, running softly his fingers on his lover's cheek.
"Klasse entlassen." nodded the elder Holmes before placing a gentle kiss on his husband cheek and whispering to his ear. "Ich liebe dich, honig.".
"I love you to, Myc'." the detective replied, smiling tenderly.

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Thanks to Ann for the chapter pitch xxx