I am not lonely [Mystrade]

CHAPTER 160 : Being normal

The night had been rough despite the comfortable bed and heavy duvet and Greg was feeling more exhausted now than he was when he left the Holmes' Mansion ten hours ago. He compulsively checked his phone if ever his husband had tried to contact him in the last five minutes but all what he discovered was a sponsored text for a brand of shampoo 'for everyone in your house'. It was just like if even the ads were made to remember the detective how bad his situation was.

After all, he could not really blame the elder Holmes for his reaction. Of course, the official's reasons were a little obscure to him, but he couldn't complain that his partner felt betrayed. Even when he was laughing at Lanrick's jokes he always had that little voice, in the back of his head, telling him that he was making a huge mistake and possibly screwing his life up.

Now he was sat alone on the edge of an anonymous bed in an impersonal room, hooked to his phone from where he hoped the salvation would come but feared even worse would emerge. He wouldn't even dare to call his friends, not willing to admit to Molly or Sally how much of a prick he had been and how he nearly considered being unfaithful. They were very good-hearted women and would never judge him but this time, he had the conviction even them would agree that he had been a heartless bastard to someone as kind and considerate as Mycroft.

He was in no mood to get lectured about his behaviour that he already knew was worse than most thing he had done in life, but he couldn't escape the question some of his colleague urged him to answer when seeing the bags under his eyes. He quickly locked himself in his office, not willing to see anyone and tried burying his mind into a particularly gruesome murder case.

Anthea threw away the content of a cup that had stayed untouched on her boss' desk and poured some warmer tea in the recipient. Then, unlike usually, she took a seat near the desk and gently coughed to gain the elder Holmes' attention. She had to fake coughing three time before the man finally looked at her even if she was sure he had heard her before she even coughed for the first time. He was, since he had joined his Diogenes Club's office early that morning, seemingly absorbed in a document about the Russian elections, but to the sharp eyes of his PA, he couldn't hide the fact that he was re-reading the same page for at least one and a half hour.

"Sir, what is going on ?" she tried asking knowing that the subject of the man's mood was most probably very sensitive.

"You are a friend of mine now Anthea, aren't you ?" Mycroft wondered, looking like a cringing little boy.

"Yes, of course I am." the assistant nodded, trying to encourage him to talk.

"May I ask you a question then ?" the politician questioned, stretching a little to look at her in the eyes.

"All you want." Mrs Taylor invited him warmly.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend ?" the politician tactfully asked. "Or just a relation with a boy."

"Boyfriend ? Not really ..." the woman softly denied. "Is it about Gregory ?"

"Erm boys, or anyone else actually. Excuse my prejudice ..." the elder Holmes quickly recomposed. "I from everyone should not assume that kind of things ..."

"Oh don't worry, it's quite an easy way to avoid the questions usually and keep my mind in peace from any lies." she retorted in a smile. "But if you ask, yes I had, once, but it's over since a long time now ..."

"If you had been, not having an affair, but let's say seducing someone before coming back to ones mind, would you have told her ?" Mycroft whispered as if saying in louder would make the situation more real.

"Maybe ..." the PA replied, trying to put herself back in the shoes she was in twelve years ago. "All I can say is that whether I had told her or whether she had learnt it from someone else I would have been out of the house in less then five minutes."